The Really Bad Advice Thread

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In the winter, under inflate your car tires so they get better traction in slick conditions.

Do your own electrical work; don't hire an electrician. Get rid of that wussy 110 or 220 volt circuit, and step yours up to a juicy 440 volt. And gloves are for sissies.

Next time you see a fundamentalist Muslim woman walking down the street, run up behind her, lift her face veil and shout "Peekaboo!"

Bacon has healing qualities. Everyone should eat at least 10 slices per day.

Sandpaper gets your teeth much cleaner than a toothbrush and paste ever can.

At 5:30 in the morning on New Year's Day, run out into the middle of the street and start singing the opening to Disney's The Lion King with a bullhorn at the top of your lungs.

If you come face to face with a wild bear, give it a hug to calm it down.

Wash your food with detergent before you eat it to make sure it's extra clean.

At four thirty in the morning, New Year's Day, play 'Judas Priest's Greatest Hits' up and down the street with a portable loudspeaker.

Poison ivy is brilliant for use as toilet paper.

Wax your car with tree sap and guano for better protection.

Don't have the expense of buying cartons of milk. Just place an order with the milkman using a neighbours address and each morning make sure you go out and get it before your neighbour realises it is on their doorstep.

If you need a minor surgical procedure, just do it yourself with a sharp knife, some alcohol, and a local anesthetic.
There are plenty of tutorials on youtube.

To stop your brake discs on your new car or bike going rusty, cover them in grease.

(I know this to be a genuine good idea as when we were kids my friend oiled the rims of his Raleigh Chopper and they didn't go rusty.)

Listen to your parents, teachers and government. They are ALWAYS right ... just look at North-Korea!







*off to watch The Interview*

And, when they don’t agree with one another, they’re all still right. If you see a contradiction, it’s your fault for seeing it. A normal person has absolutely no trouble going through life even if they must believe that two plus two make five.