Corrupt A Wish

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granted, but they decide to kick you out and the only place left to rent in the whole world is very, VERY dirty (and will stay so forever)

I wish that it would stop till raining till 2pm tomorrow

Granted, it stops raining and a string of F5 tornadoes hit instead, demolishing your house and town.


I wish i owned a beach house.

Granted, but theres a MASSIVE drought and all of the beach dries up into crisp crusty dirt

I wish humans were nocturnal (as a species)

Granted, but everyone will spontaneously combust the moment any sort of light hits them (so everyone dies pretty much instantly, as ambient moonlight is around at night too you know).

I wish for the ability to make a uncorrupted wish and then proceed to make my wish uncorrupted (I just had to try this one, just to see how it'll be corrupted).

Granted. You now exist in a wish-antiwish quantum paradox in which every possible outcome of any, and/or all, pre-imagined wish (referred in singular due to the indistinguishable nature of omni-wish manifestation) is manifest simultaneously yet observation of any given instance results in a catastrophic breakdown of all given paths.


I wish I had telekinesis.

Granted, but your brain grows to an impossibly large size to accomodate your new powers, crushing itself inside your skull, leaving you in a vegatative state that you can never recover from.

I wish I could teleport to wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Granted! you teleport into the world of neoprene to visit me... but you cant teleport out since the teleporter is only good for one use one way...

I wish i could live in a world of neoprene!

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but everything in the world is made of rotting cheese.

Granted but you cannot do things for anyone but you two

I wish you granted my wish correctly

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted. He granted it correctly. The world is made of neoprene, but the contract for the full conversion went to the lowest bidder who added far too much thiourea to the mix during vulcanization and cheap recycled litharge as a compounding agent so we all now have horrible dermatitis and severe lead poisoning.



I wish it were Friday.

Granted! you work weekends now!

I wish the world was made of EXPENSIVE NEOPRENE!

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but a meteorite hits and the Earth bounces out of orbit and into the depths of outer space where we all freeze to death.

I wish the lawn didn't need mowing.

granted, a passing military plane loses its load of agent orange right over your home and kills everything forever.










I wish I could be who I am now at this vary moment.

Granted, Dorian Gray. Take good care of this painting for me.


I wish I could fly.

Granted
you turn into a fly in an office and someone is chasing you with a fly swat






I wish I could be who I am now and where i am at, without any change in my finances or my self or my living condition, this vary moment.

Granted, due to a glitch in the space time continuum time stops for you. Everyone else carries on with their lives and you get put into a museum, mistaken for a lifelike statue.

I wish the chilli I made this afternoon hadn't turned out quite so hot.