Corrupt A Wish

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Fnord
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28 Jul 2008, 2:41 pm

Dylan14 wrote:

I wish for a planet so I could be alone.

Granted. The planet is 300 light-years away, is listed as 'P3X-715', and you hold the exclusive deed and title to it. Now the only problem is how to get there, what with spaceships blowing up and all...

I wish that everyone could see religions for the collective delusions that they are.

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The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.

Autisvic
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Joined: 13 Jul 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 86
Location: Around here somewhere....Let me check.

28 Jul 2008, 3:11 pm

Granted! Every nation shall erect temples in your honor and pray to your statue
in appreciation of your divine wisdom. They are willing to die for you.

I wish I were at the beach.

Fnord
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28 Jul 2008, 4:33 pm

Autisvic wrote:

I wish I were at the beach.

Granted.

But the armed guards, your orange jumpsuit, and the shackles on your feet make picking up cigarette butts and other trash in the hot sun somewhat cruel and unusual ... as if anyone cares.

I wish that people would not hit on my wife or I.

Strapples
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Age: 34
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28 Jul 2008, 4:41 pm

Granted! you get hit (on) by a bus!

I wish my above grant were funnier to people

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

traveller011212
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Joined: 26 May 2008
Age: 45
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Posts: 211
Location: Right here!!

28 Jul 2008, 5:48 pm

Granted, but as they only find humor in your above posts, and only the first time they read them, everyone wonders listlessly and eventually starves to death.

I wish my cell phone would ring.

Strapples
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Joined: 30 Nov 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,861
Location: Chicago Area IL (FAR FROM AUTISM SPEAKS)

28 Jul 2008, 6:04 pm

Granted! its me on the other end to talk about NEOPRENE!

I wish more people liked neoprene!

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

traveller011212
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Joined: 26 May 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 211
Location: Right here!!

28 Jul 2008, 6:18 pm

Granted

However the supply is not able to keep up with demand and the world supply is consumed by neoprene gourmands.

I wish for death

Fnord
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28 Jul 2008, 6:38 pm

traveller011212 wrote:

I wish for death

Granted.

Death appears to you as an angelic, yet motherly female human who smiles, spreads her arms wide, and says "It's time to come home, Traveller."

I wish for ambiguity or something like it.

Autisvic
Blue Jay

Joined: 13 Jul 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 86
Location: Around here somewhere....Let me check.

29 Jul 2008, 2:13 pm

Granted! You will get kicked out of any public restroom you
choose to go into. The authorities will be called when you try
to use the women's room and they will conduct a strip search
to determine your sex (this actually happened in LA). Everyone
in the room will stare at your genitalia while saying, "What the
HELL IS THAT?"

I wish for another earthquake so I can leave work.

Deus_Imperator
Deinonychus

Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 360
Location: Australia

29 Jul 2008, 10:02 pm

Granted the earthquake happens, everyone is evacuated but as soon as you leave the building it collapses and the rubble crushes you.

I wish I could write essays

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Vale Omnes

nodice1996
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Age: 30
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30 Jul 2008, 10:42 am

granted, you write them, but never turn them in

I wish I money to pay my paper route sub while im on vacation

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Strapples
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Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,861
Location: Chicago Area IL (FAR FROM AUTISM SPEAKS)

30 Jul 2008, 11:19 am

Granted! But you dont have enough to pay the electricity so you no longer have a computer...

I wish people didnt call images of woman wearing PVC clothing porn

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

TallyMan
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30 Jul 2008, 2:28 pm

Granted. It is hereby declared to be art.

I wouldn't mind seeing some new art :wink:

Strapples
Supporting Member

Joined: 30 Nov 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,861
Location: Chicago Area IL (FAR FROM AUTISM SPEAKS)

30 Jul 2008, 5:39 pm

Granted! your wish is in your PM box!

I wish more people would PM me about odd things like PVC latex and neoprene

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

nodice1996
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Joined: 3 Jan 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,047
Location: Michigan

31 Jul 2008, 9:28 am

granted, they also pm you about "nookyuhlaar" weapons and starts wars in iraq

I wish I had a better tv in my basement

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Guns don't kill people--Magic Missiles Do.

supahneko
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31 Jul 2008, 11:11 am

Granted! It's a 4cm HDTV

I wish I had some better shoes...

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