PRIZE MACHINE

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Receives capitalization and punctuation correction.

*Inserts box of, "splatter-ific," (s)cream pies*

Receives message, "Glad you didn't give me the cake."

Inserts Haemophilus influenzae bacterium. (kevinjh, I think you might like this one.)

WOOHOO! FLAP! JUMP! WRITHE ON MATTRESS IN SHEAR PLEASURE FROM SPECIAL INTEREST! [Actual sequence of events: "WOOHOO," moved to end.]

Receives nothing (for the moment).

[I think my email is not updating one of the threads. Something seems missing.]

*Inserts 100cfu S. pneumoniae and a dozen randomly assorted T-even phages*

Receives dead bacteria and lots of phages.
(Wait... is that what actually happens? I've only taken AP biology... Wow, I fail at being a biology nerd.)

*Inserts nitrocellulose sheet*

(Also, you spelled "sheer" wrong. But glad you liked it! XD)

If you mix enough random species (types would be a more appropriate term) of phages and common bacteria together, most likely, the phages will annihilate the bacteria. With the specific case of HIN and SPN, in vitro cultures seem to result in the annihilation of the HIN and the opposite is true for the human respiratory tract because the presence of both results in an invocation of the SPN while the presence of either results in no annihilation [annihilate. anNIhilate. anniHILate. I like using that word for some reason. ] unless something allows for an infection because HIN is an opportunistic pathogen.

Ach, try not to worry too much about only learning of biology through AP Biology. My school is considered good (for a public school in the district, even though it is the only non-alternative placement high school) and the vast majority of students (even valedictorians) do little outside in the intellectual, rather than academic side of learning. The fact that you took the time to learn about HIN suggests that you are already better than the 99% at my cesspool of a school.

Receives a lit stove of the kind only a particular kitchen chemist would use to dry nitrocellulose....

[Argh, in my distraction, I made an error. Why can I not think in words instead of sounds?]

*Gently inserts a phial filled with two grams of fulminate of mercury*

Receives multiple burns as the prize machine explodes.

(Let's try something different here.)
*Inserts marshmallow*

Receives s'mores. [The machine has a reputation for destroying or creating matter or even worlds, so this works.]

*Inserts 100 g charcoal*

Receives a set of charcoal pencils.

*Inserts gold medal*

Receives certificate.

*Inserts 100g activated carbon and 150g powdered sulfur*

receives a fairy cake

Insrets Dolly the cloned sheep

Receives certificate of death.

*Inserts atom about to split*

Receives EXPLOSION!! !! !! !!!1!! !!111!! !!!ONE!! !! !! !! !

Receives matter.

Oh dear! How is the machine creating matter when you gave it nothing?

*Inserts cat with bread and butter face up on its back*

The machine got destroyed in the explosion! Time to build a new one.

(Indefinite amount of time later)

Receives new Internet meme.

*Inserts laptop*

Receives broken laptop.

*Inserts brokenness*

Receives fixed laptop. (Wait, what?)

*Inserts clone of prize machine*