Finish the Limmerick

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...but he hadn't been drinking at all!

I'm under a strict obligation
to compose a new rhyming creation
but my stupid old brain
wants to whine and complain...

...And make all sorts of confabulations.
---
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
Her house was a beautiful, red Jimmy Choo.
Oh, the joy she would feel
When inside her high heel...

Foot pains shot through and through.
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There once was a rat in a pipe
Who'd been wired to call via Skype
Its interface crashed
Because too much was cached

...So the rat angrily kicked a pear that was ripe.
---
There once was a base named Thymine
Who wanted to destroy Cytosine.
He met up with friend, Uracil,
And revealed his dark plan to kill...

...chemistry was a bad subject of mine.

...is that the right way to make wine?

...I'm not really sure what you mean? (just in case I've been mispronouncing Thymine and Cytosine)

My doggie has left quite a pool
of slippery, slobbery drool
while awaiting his dinner.
He's visibly thinner...

("Mean" is the one that would work. )

...Because he's been passing too much stool.
---
There once was a town in New Mexico
With an unusual precipitation flow.
When it would rain,
The sky drizzled champagne...

I'll skip back first, because I just figured out this was a limerick "set-up" --

A nitrogenous base named Guanine.
---------


RAINING CHAMPAGNE?! not ... HELLO!!
--------------

THERE ONCE WAS A WP CHAP
WHO ALWAYS WROTE IN ALL-CAPS
"YOU'RE SHOUTING!"
SAID MEMBERS, POUTING

and pinched him quite hard on the paps.

I finaly found this poor thread
to resurrect from the dead.
Come on, all you rhymers
and even first-timers...

...the limerick mine must be fed!

There once was a jailbird named Stu
And stealing was all he could do
The warden said, "Wait,
You'd better go straight..."

And Stu said "Forget you!"
-----------
A Mayan pyramid was quite a mess
But inside it held an address
When the calendar reached its end
It became time to send

...everyone to their priest to confess.

This Lent for my big sacrifice
I've decided to give up brown rice
and eat oysters instead
so when I go to bed....

I realize I've screwed up Lent twice.
----------

There once was a plate made in Delft
That was forgotten because it was shelved
"1-800 GOT JUNK" threw it away
On a hoarder's difficult moving day

And wound up in the home of an elf.

There once was a bad girl named Kate
Who never gave a toss if she's late
Her bosses would shout
Co-workers would pout

.... but she told them to go procreate.

There once was a maid medieval
who lived in a forest primeval
a bounder espied her
and plied her with cider

'Cause nothing's within him but evil.

There once was a skier named Shaun
Up high on a slope he was born
The townsfolk were right
He skied every night

Then climbed back up the hillside at dawn


In a garden there lived a young gnome
Who refused to return to his home
Said, "If not for the fruit
and occasional root..