Outcast Fanfic Choose an Adventure story!!

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I check my email quite often, and have this topic on watch. Plus I like the story, so I try to always respond.

Yay!! What do you like most about it?

It's well written - none of the cliche nonsense I usually expect from choose your own adventure stories - and I have no idea where it's going. It's been awhile since I've read something that catches my interest, so yea. You win.
Oh, and the characters are realistic. I like that.

Thanks! I want my characters to be realistic. By that do you mean relatable? You have no idea where it's going? What a coincidence, neither do I!

Guess I should post some pics. (when you click on the URL, click on the thumbnail on the new page for a bigger version if needed)

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/515 ... n%3Ascraps

Koise is the tall one complaining to Booger. I like this drawing.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/515 ... n%3Ascraps

The Staff of Elixir. Yes, it's supposed to look a bit like an evil sort of weapon.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/434 ... n%3Ascraps

This is Kipo, my favourite character. Reason being is that she's an Aspie (how cute!). She's looking away because she doesn't like looking into camera lenses (almost like eye contact).

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/445 ... n%3Ascraps

This is what Kipo's Dayol Cube looks like. It's about the same size as a Rubik's Cube, maybe a bit bigger.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/445 ... n%3Ascraps

Same as above, except it's not fully assembled yet. (Kipo probably got distracted by something shiny)

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/515 ... n%3Ascraps

And this is Marilyn. She usually doesn't have that blob-like thing on her head, which is supposed to be a welding mask in it's upright position.

I suppose you could say relatable. They are that. What I meant however was that they're not so sterotypical - that is, they think like real people and talk like real people and act like real people. I'm not very good with explaining what a sterotypical character is like.

Nice pictures, by the way. I like the Staff of Elixir.

Thanks! I really appreciate it.

EDIT: I try not to create characters which are COMPLETELY stereotypical, and if I do, I give reasons for it and all that stuff. It's funny because as an Aspie, you'd think I'd not really understand how people tick, and yet I do! Yay! Koise is based a lot around myself, and that's why I don't have to think a lot when doing his stuff. So when you read Koise doing stuff, it's based on me!

Here you go LadyCass, another update!

"Marilyn?" Koise said. She was resting, and now Kipo was awake.
"Yeah?" Marilyn said sleepily.
"We're going to go to Bob's town."
"I know that."
"No, I mean now. Right now."
"Right now?!" Marilyn exclaimed, giving Kipo a fright. "But that guy is still out there!"
"Don't worry! You've got me!"
"You sure?" Marilyn said
"Yes, I'm sure. Don't worry, I'll look after you."
"Okay."
And so they set off once again.
"So, who are you?" Marilyn said to Kipo. She didn't answer. "Uhm, hello, what's you're name?" Kipo didn't reply.
"Hello, Kipo?" Koise said
"Yes?" Kipo said
"Are you going to answer Marilyn's question?"
"Okay." There was an awkward silence.
"Well?" Koise said
"Well what?" Kipo replied
"Aren't you going to answer the question?"
"I do not know what it is."
"What is your name?" Marilyn said.
"Kipo Lamron."
"And how old are you?"
Once again Kipo didn't answer. Koise gave a look to Marilyn which said 'She's hard to work with, isn't she?' and Marilyn replied with a look which said 'I know!'
"Kipo?" Koise asked.
"Yes?"
"How old are you?"
"I am fifteen years old."
"Where do you come from?"
"Umatari."
"Whew! That's a long way away isn't it?"
"Yes, it is."
"So, why are you with Koise?"
"I accidentally tripped and hit him, and I have decided to follow him."
"Oh okay. Why did you leave home?"
"Because I did not like it there."
"Why not?"
Kipo was silent once more.
"She doesn't like to talk about it." Koise whispered to Marilyn.
"Because there was nothing to do there." Kipo lied. This was part of the reason, but not all of it.

They trekked further along the road for about another hour, keeping silent, and treading softly. And then they saw the town.

How is the town of Tramata?
A) It's like a small suburb in the middle of nowhere
B) It's a small town, big enough for a supermarket and stuff.
C) You may as well call it a Gas Station.

A.

A. *wonders where the other voters are*

The town of Tramata was dang small. I mean really, you could throw a rock as hard as you could and go about halfway across the town! The road Koise, Kipo and Marilyn walked down was the main road, and a few gas stations were placed on the side of the road along with restaurants and bars, plus the police station and the post office. The electricity of the town was provided by underground cables under the sewage system laying underneath the roads, and was generally low-cost, not counting taxes. On the left side of the town was a small mountain range, but not high enough for snow, and a little road trailed off and up it's slopes for a short bit before ending at a house that was owned by Marilyn's parents. Koise knew this, he has visited there once as a kid with hiw own parents in Primary school. The area surrounding Tramata was dense with tussock and other such bushes on rolling hills stretching to the horizon.

The trio made their way down the dark streets, lit only by the dotted streetlight and Koise's Staff.
"Do you know where Bob's house is?" Koise asked
"Yup, take a left three blocks from here." Marilyn said. Her voice still sounded scared, but not as terrified as she was earlier.
And then a curious thing happened. A little shadow made it's way up the road. This wasn't the shadow of an object, more as if the object was the shadow itself. It looked like a pitch black demonic ink splotch on the ground, and no light lit it, not even the magic of Koise's Light crystal. Koise strained his memory to identify the thing, he had encountered one before.
"What is that?" Marilyn queried.
And then Koise remembered. It was a Shaelik, creatures which come out only at night to prey on animals and other fodder.

The Shaelik made it's way in front of the trio and stopped.
"Arh flitch." Koise said. 'This is why I don't go out at night. Rapists, wild animals and Shaeliks.' He was lucky not to be attacked by one while in the forest. Koise glanced to his left and saw a road leading off. "Run!" he yelled. "Make your way to Bob's house!"
As Kipo and Marilyn dashed off down the street, Koise whipped out his crystal belt and strapped it on, containing all manner of different elemental crystals for whatever the occasion (great for parties). As the Shaelik reared up and morphed into it's bestial form, Koise exchanged his Light crystal for the Fire one. He gave his Staff a quick jerk and the crystal lit, as if it were covered with a skin of oil it had been lit with a match.

The Shaelik's bestial form was as tall as a house, pointy roof included. At it's rounded head were two large orange-red dots, it's eyes. It's form was wispy and gaseous, with wisps and trails following every movement. It had no legs, instead it's form melted into the ground or whatever surface it wanted to travel on. It's arms were large and muscular (if it had muscles), and it's hands were bulky and thick.

Koise knew a Shaelik's attacks came fast and followed swiftly, and he had only two options for battle.

Which option will Koise choose?
A) Have the Shaelik chase him throughout the town, attacking it as he went
B) Go head-on and hope for the best

A.

A.

Koise made the first move. He blasted a jet of flame at the beast's chest and dashed off down the road. The Shaelik slid after him along the ground, quite slowly as he didn't need to run to catch up to Koise. Koise turned and fired some more flame jets at the beast as it caught up with him. Koise hadn't actually had the chance to fight a Shaelik before, he always managed to outrun the smaller ones. But this was a mother of a Shaelik, far bigger than he had ever encountered.

Koise took a turn round the street, took a quick look behind him and saw the Shaelik literally behind his heels. Koise broke into a sprint towards a lamp post, grabbed it and used the momentum to take a 180 degree turn and break away from the Shaelik. Sliding round the corner and up to where he came, he wondered what the hell to do. He switched to his Water Crystal and jabbed his staff, which activated the crystal, causing it to eminate water off it, flowing down his staff and onto his hands and arms.
'Heh, Kipo'd hate using this.' he thought.
Koise whipped round to see the Shaelik turn the corner, and fired a jet of water. It was not all white like a fireman's water hose, it was more like the water when you turn a tap on to the max.
The water hit the monster, and it's gaseous form became more solid and fell down to the earthy path as a result of the cold water. Koise was sparked by this idea, but had to run again as the Shaelik, despite it's injuries, kept on advancing (one of the advantages of not feeling pain, and Koise knew this).

Koise ran down the path and decided the high ground was the best place to go. Actually, he had no idea whether it was, he was just acting on what felt best at the time. He searched for a place to go to, but then the Shaelik put itself around Koise and engulfed him in black shadow.

The world inside was strange in a way. Floating inside the beast, it was a lot larger than it actually was. In fact, Koise saw before him an endless void of black nothingness. Wondering what the hell he should do, he saw above him many limp bodies, which disgusted him. He instinctively knew all of these were the Shaelik's previous claims. Not all of them were human, Renon, or any other species, in fact there was a very little amount of bodies that could have been intelligent, but all of them were thin, and the human's skin was deathly pale.

Koise did not know, but the Shaelik fed off the life energy of a being instead of the actual body. It did this by engulfing the body and letting it sit there until it starved to death. Being a gaseous monster that could go nearly anywhere, it was fortunate that they were easily fed, even by small animals such as rabbits. Koise's life force alone would feed this Shaelik for up to a week.

What he also did not know was that once you were engulfed, there was very little, in fact virtually nothing you could do to get out. He tried swimming, but he didn't move anywhere. Backstroke, Freestyle, and even Breaststroke wouldn't work. And then an odd thing happened.

His cellphone went off.

Who's on the phone?
A) Marilyn
B) Bob
C) The guy from the phone company, demanding Koise pay up or risk getting fined or having his phone confiscated (and at THIS hour?)

P.S. Thanks to whoever deleted Spy's post, only noticed it now!

C.

Ugh, where is everybody?! C I guess...

"Hello?"
"Hey, I'm from Telecom, and we're calling due to several violations of you not paying your overdue credit."
"What?" Koise asked, "You mean when I don't pay I have to follow guidelines?!"
"Yes, you do. One of them being that you haven't paid your credit at all. If you don't pay within the next two weeks we will disable your phone's ability to communicate with anybody or anything for 3 weeks for each week you don't pay it, and any other violations, which include you not paying, will come into effect at that time."
"But I haven't paid it in over six months!" Koise protested
"Well you're in a bit of a sticky situation, aren't you?"
'Uh-oh...' Koise thought. He did the Maths. If he hadn't paid it for six months, then that meant that his phone would already be disabled for at least 18 months!!
'Oh ****!' Koise dreaded.
"Look, I'll pay as soon as I can." Koise said, knowing that he probably wouldn't be able to escape the bowels of the Shaelik to pay it anyhow. "Goodbye!"
"Wait, sir, could I offer you a peak-time pla-" and Koise hung up.

Koise sighed in frustration and put the phone in his bag. But then it started vibrating.
"Ugh, what is it now?!" He looked at the monitor.
*You have-1- new message*
"Great, what is it?" Koise looked at it. It seemed to be written in some sort of code that looked only vaguely like English, asif someone didn't want anybody else to read it. "'Ks n0 tim 2 xpln wll gt u ot of thr hng on'" He read. "Huh?" He tried to decipher it. After about a minute of thinking, he then realised what it read: "'Koise no time to explain we'll get you out of there'!" he repeated. He took a look at the sender and stared blankly at it. "Booger?" he repeated. 'Who the heck is he?"

How is the story so far?
A) Excellent!
B) It's pretty good
C) Fair
D) Not too good
E) Pretty bad

D) 0MG It suxxorz!!!11!!1!!?! !

B

I just read it all quick