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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Drake
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28 Sep 2015, 2:48 pm

ThetaIn3D wrote:
When starting a new job, you must quickly move to fistfight everyone to establish yourself in the pecking order.

Indeed. You still have to fight in a paid job. That's why the unpaid intern fights are so important to build up experience. When you go for a paid position, you'll then have plenty of necessary combat experience under your belt to give you good prospects of gaining position.



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28 Sep 2015, 3:06 pm

Eat at McDonald's every day.


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28 Sep 2015, 3:37 pm

it's a good idea to clean dust out of your outlets with a copper pin every so often.


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Drake
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28 Sep 2015, 4:03 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
Biting is a frequently overlooked but effective tool in communication.

That's why we have the "once bitten twice shy" saying. Biting is a great tool for autistic people who want to be left alone to articulate that message to people.



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28 Sep 2015, 10:14 pm

Show your appreciation at the opera by vigorously squeaking a dog toy. Make sure you continue for a few seconds after the clapping stops.


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Drake
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28 Sep 2015, 10:16 pm

OnPorpoise wrote:
Leave your doors and windows unlocked. Most people are trustworthy.

Indeed. Telling people to lock their doors when they go out is an outdated and outright offensive concept now. You don't tell people to lock doors and windows, you go to the source of the problem and tell people not to steal and that makes everything alright, eliminating the need to lock doors and windows. It works similarly for women, you don't tell them to take precautions like not walking home alone at night or leaving their drinks unattended, you just go to the source of the problem and tell men not to rape so that will solve the problem and they will have nothing to worry about.



Cockroach96
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29 Sep 2015, 8:47 am

Vote for Donald Trump.


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Drake
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29 Sep 2015, 10:25 am

Salt absorbs water. If you don't want others to see you crying, just apply a dose of salt to your eyes to dry up those tears. You can do the same if you're bleeding to staunch the blood flow.



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29 Sep 2015, 10:28 am

Be sure to invade Russia during the winter because they hate the cold and you better take your land armies through China so they can have a gay ole time



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29 Sep 2015, 10:39 am

Rattlesnakes like to be cuddled. When you see one pick it up and give it a hug.


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Drake
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29 Sep 2015, 10:53 am

No means yes.



lostonearth35
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29 Sep 2015, 11:09 am

Beware of Dog signs are just there for a joke, you don't need to obey them.

Beware of Cat signs, on the other hand, means the place is guarded by what is basically Attila the Hun with fur and fangs!



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29 Sep 2015, 12:13 pm

Life is much simpler and easier if you just look at all your problems as nails and carry a large hammer.



Drake
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11 Oct 2015, 12:47 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Beware of Dog signs are just there for a joke, you don't need to obey them.

Exactly. One of the many things that can catch autistic people out. Of course the dog isn't dangerous. If it was, then the people living in the house or working on the site would be attacked by the dog!



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11 Oct 2015, 1:09 pm

Ghost just want to give you friendly advice and you should agree to let them take over your body because they will totally give it back



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11 Oct 2015, 3:02 pm

When baking cookies, bleach is a good substitute for butter or margarine.