Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, now you can't breathe out of the water.

I wish I had fame.

Granted! But its a real pain in the ass cause you have to socialize for it all

I wish I could have a PVC lead strapple hehehe

Granted, but it turns out you already had one and you forgot about it, so it becomes useless.

I wish I owned an airplane.

Granted! But you get lead poisoning and all your fingernails turn white and yellow.

I wish it would snow everywhere but my driveway this winter.

Granted! But you don't realize you can't fly it until it comes time to land, and the danged autopilot fails.

I still wish snow never landed on my driveway.

Granted! It piles up in front of your door enjoy being trapped in your house

I wish i could have a PVC strapple .

Granted! The plumber mistakes it for a drain pipe and connects the strapple to the waste stack.

I wish my house was clean now.

Granted the repo people come and take everything.
I wish I had big headphones.

Granted, your headphones are as large as your head.

I wish for a mushroom farm under my house.

Granted, the mushrooms grow too fast, and they damage your house.

I wish I were a real samurai.

Granted. An enemy ninja comes along and grievously wounds you.

I wish I had (non poisoned) food in front of me right now.

Granted. A live cow materialises in front of you. You'll have to kill it and cook it yourself.

I wish I owned a particle accelerator.

That's a curse? I'll just take off what I want and ride the rest home! The fresher the better!



Granted. A freaky experiment with your shiny new particle accelerator discovers a new type of subquantum particle/wave type thing and tears a fabric in the hole of the universe, destroying all existence.

I wish I owned a particle accelerator.

Well, at least I make an important scientific discovery. I'll be famous in the afterlife.

Anyway, you receive your shining new particle accelerator. Unfortunately, it consumes a lot of power, and you don't have the money to pay the electric bill for even a very simple experiment.

I wish the element astatine was stable.

Granted, however to do this required a change to the laws of physics which means carbon is no longer stable or capable of forming long polymer chains. Life no longer exists.

I wish Seti would get a positive signal indicating alien life.

Granted. It's all the sci-fi villains together coming to vacations on Earth.

I wish internet downloads were instantaneous.