Corrupt A Wish

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You forgot to make a wish, so I give you a mischievous one: You wake up in bed with George Bush - naked!! !

I wish my seedlings survive the Winter outside in the cold.

Granted, but now they won't survive summer heat.

I wish I was SpongeBob.

Granted, *poof* You have three seconds to get to the ocean.


I wish that private currencies would be more common.

Granted but their value becomes more volatile in an open currency market....

Wish I had more ice cream right now...

Granted, you are like King Midas only it's not gold but ice cream you turn things into.


I wish for more acceptance of capitalist viewpoints in society.

I wanted to make the easy way out, but I decided for something a bit more creative: Granted, suddenly no one on Great Britain understands the concept of nationalism anymore. The country does not so much collapse as fall apart into millions of micronations, none of them rich enough to have a huge police force. You live free from state oppression until one of the established world powers sees the non-breakdown to anarchy there threatening enough for his own position that he nukes the country.


I wish that I no longer have to sleep in a cardboard box under the bridge.

Granted you now sleep in a cardborad box next to the freeway.

I wish I had superpowers like SpiderMan

Granted. Your girlfriend can't make up her mind to be with you, and every single supervillain in town is intent on killing you everyday.

I wish I could numb my feelings at will.

Granted, no one said anything about un-numbing them at will though,


I wish that I had better teachers who actually can teach.

Granted. Your new human anatomy teacher is very skilled and knowledgable indeed . . . disturbingly knowledgable. To how he attained that knowledge, the truth is that he is something of a hands-on learner, though he is careful to cover his tracks always. Nobody has ever suspected that he is the one responsible for the recent spate of disappearances, such is the respectable facade he puts up. And second to the pleasure he gets from disassembling the human machine and pondering its workings, is only the pleasure he gets sharing his discoveries with an unsuspecting audidence, silently laughing at how oblivious they are to how he attained his state of expertise, and studying them just as much as they study his course material, looking at his audience with a curiosity, a longing to satisfy his urge to fully understand their workings also. For to those he shares his genius with, he hungers to share something deeper with them; as he gives them knowledge, he expects them to give him knowledge in return. There can be fewer journeys more perilous than to venture into his classroom, for as he smiles with seeming benevolence, he silently chooses those whom he finds most interesting, those who shall ultimately be recruited to serve him, who will have the rare honour of experiencing one of his advanced classes, in which they will repay the debt they owe him for his teachings.




I wish Earth had more than one moon.

Granted, Pluto was feeling a bit miserable due to its demotion from being a planet so has headed back into the solar system and taken orbit around Earth. However, all the cosmic shenanigans have pushed Earth further away from the Sun and the Earth is now frozen solid apart from a few people in the Government who are living deep underground in bunkers.

I wish I'd put less mustard on my ham baguette.

In the process of making the mustard disappear, the ham has vanished as well

I wish that I could play the tango music in evita on the sax.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted. But to do so you have to be wearing Madonna's costume from the Blonde Ambition Tour.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

Granted you are now headless
I wish I could eat dinner already.