Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are now cherry flavored Jell-O.

I wish I wasn't sick.

Granted you're completely cured, however now your wellness means you have to babysit ten toddlers all with chicken pox, or measles.... (depends which one you're immune to)

I wish I could get that BMX bike I want so badly...

Granted, but you really should not have stolen it, ten police squad cars are chasing you and the cops look mean.

I wish for a simple cup of fresh ground coffee - you can't corrupt such a little request can you?

What can I say: I put sugar into it - like my grandma likes, ie lots!


I wish that paper would not be so horrible to touch

Granted, it feels like silk, smells like rotting mushrooms, and is an eyesore to look at...and only for any paper you buy.

I wish I could make working furniture out of bubbles.

Granted, all your furniture is made of bubbles, but your friends decide to play a game of darts in your house while you're gone. And they're REALLY REALLY BAD.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Granted, here is a single piece of chocolate and I've got some bad news for you.

I wish I had a pint of Old Peculiar ale, as served in traditional ale English pubs.

Granted, it's poisoned though. Can I have your computer (mine has 2 viruses)?

I wish I could just be happy.

I wish to voice recognition software never made errors.

(Mine makes some errors, but it does not make them very often at all.)

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

granted, but in correcting all the errors, the software takes up all the memory on the computer.

i wish people weren't ignorant

Granted, but in a world of no ignorance, you find boredom, and reverse the wish.

I wish the hosting company was complete with moving my data to the other server

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, they finish early because most of your data is lost.

I wish for super powers.

Granted, but you find you are living in a comic strip not the real world any more. You spend the rest of your life defending yourself against evil super villains.

I wish I felt motivated to work.

granted, but now you feel no motivation in any other area and to make matters worse there are no jobs hiring at the moment.

i wish i could go to this party i've been invited to.

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most people think i'm a bit strange, even abnormal. normal is the majority, the average, what is most frequent. if you lived around here, you'll see the positive of not being normal

Granted, you can now go to the political party. They get you door knocking on their behalf.

I wish it was Christmas tomorrow.

granted, because christmas has come almost eleven months early no one's ready for it and then treats it like a normal day.

i wish i didn't give up smoing.

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most people think i'm a bit strange, even abnormal. normal is the majority, the average, what is most frequent. if you lived around here, you'll see the positive of not being normal