Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you are now smoking again, you become short of breath, cough up disgusting bits of gunk and get lung cancer.

I wish I never smoke again, ever. (I gave up 16 years ago)

granted, you never smoke again but everyone around you decides to start up and you end up breathing in all their second hand smoke, so much in fact that the last sixteen years of not smoking is wasted after sixteen seconds of being in some else's company.

i wish i had some deep heat muscle relaxation cream.

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most people think i'm a bit strange, even abnormal. normal is the majority, the average, what is most frequent. if you lived around here, you'll see the positive of not being normal

Granted, it "relaxes" your muscles by burning them to a crisp.

I wish I could have 20 PVC lead aprons

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted you have 20 lead aprons, but these are cursed like the red shoes. Once you put one on you are compelled to put on the other 19, also start dancing around the room doing salsa and tango with a female wraith from Stargate for the rest of eternity.

I wish that I could go and spend the evening doing ballroom, latin and jive dancing with Dido. This would be at a ball and on my table I would be holding court as a witty man with the following other people present.... Dido, Madonna, Tony Blair, Geoffry Archer, Winston Churchhill, Bob Champion (horse jockey).

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

OK , Fine you get your lead aprons. But a freak event occurs in the deep space, a set of rays which interact strongly with lead catch your aprons and make them turn into the worst type of aliens you can think of.

By the way can you corrupt my wish for the ballroom latin session with Dido in some non sexual way, let us assume that I switch J. Lopez for dido in my existing wish. Also I would rather do Cha-Cha with Ms Lopez than do the Jive with her.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, sort of. You confused the magic genie with all the changes and you ended up becoming one of those rotating mirror balls in the ballroom. If it is any consolation all the people you mention dance and enjoy your lighting effects.

I wish I had some English smoked bacon.

Granted, but it turns out that the English bacon you got is actually from Spain, with a label of english bacon. Enjoy!

I wish for Nintendo to release their own operating system.

Granted, they bring out a operating system. But something goes very badly wrong when you are playing a game. You get sucked into the PC via the screen and converted into a series of 1s and Os. You are now trapped in the machine with all the nasty monsters from all the games chasing you around like in tron. But the worst bit is that they never included telnet, FTP or TCP in the operating system, so you can not escape to another computer.

I am sick of being dizzy as the rotating mirror ball at the black tie dinner & ball which I outlined, I want to be there and human again. But I do not want to be made into a waiter, cook or some other member of staff present at the ball.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, you are no longer even at the ball. You are now a staff member at a hospital, a blood drawing assistant.

I wish I could have a pair of PVC overalls without lining in them like the ones below. I want them because I like how PVC is warm and sticky and smooth.

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, you find them at a store and buy them, but now you're broke.

I wish candy was healthy (like veggies).

To be honest, that would be fine, as long as I have my stimmy materials I am very happy. I don't need money to be happy

granted, however everything else is unhealthy

I wish that people didn't think that money made the world go round. And that health care were easier for everyone to get

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, the world economy now revolves around cheese. Cheese is used to buy everything. Healthcare is now provided by witch doctors and faith healers - take your pick of a sprinkle of chicken blood or hug a bible and say "Halleluyah" a few times.

I wish my feet were warm.

Fine you will get warm feet, you have the bad luck to end up in Dr Utterquack's office, you complain about your cold feet. He soon fits you with his experimental electric foot warmer (a modified toaster) which quickly malfunctions and starts to toast your feet. Worst part is that the bread eject mechanism is stuck down.

I wish I could charm students with a pipe in the same way as the the Pied Piper of Hamelin charmed the rats, I wish I could charm them into lecture halls, tutorial rooms and the exam hall with the pipe.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, you have a pipe that students really like, it is full of hash. Your classes are now full of students all sharing the pipe, unfortunately not much work gets done and eventually the police arrest you.

I wish the weather would improve so I can work in my vegetable garden.

Granted. The day is so perfect you never want to leave the garden--never again. You eventually lose your job, your friends and die of starvation. But hey, you'll have nice flowers.

I wish I could become the people I admire.