Corrupt A Wish

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OK the adverts are less gimmicky, but the programs are more gimmicky.

I wish that I could play the tango music from the film evita on the sax, and that I could choose to wear what ever I like while I am playing it (this is related to an existing wish).

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but it gets renamed to Evita on the sex! And you must have sex with a trombone...

WTF

I wish my lead apron would arrive already

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

OK the lead apron has arrived, it it soon turns into a litany of woes.

First the government ban the use of lead aprons citing toxic waste, secondly they charge you a $10000 bond to make sure that you turn in the apron at the end of its useful life to a licensed hazardous waste company.

Next while you are out of the house the nasty wicked space goblins from planet XYZ switch on their 1 GeV proton ray and zap you apron making many of the neutrons spallate out of the lead atoms, thus exposing everything near it to an large neutron dose. Lucky for you the apron is in your cupboard and not on you at the time. However the neutrons alter the some of the silicon in the chips of your PC into phosphorus thus n-doping the silicon to the point at which your PC stops working. Also the fast neutrons damage the plastic of your CD collection’s cases and the disks so that the plastic turns into a sticky glue. Lastly the neutrons cause the radiation level in your bed room to increase and kick start the formation of a new life form. While Stanley Miller’s experiment using an electric discharge only made amino acids the space goblins manage to create a new life form the size of a small dog which is able to jump up and open the fridge door. The new life form then starts to eat all the food in your kitchen before messing on the floor. When you get back you discover that the new animal has eaten the cake which you were planing on taking to the Wrong Planet cake baking contest which finally wrecks your day.

This is what I call a bad apron day !

Thanks for messing up my wish, the "Evita on the sex" sounds funny.

Now my new wish

I wish that when I looked at passers by in the street could no longer walk or run but they are only able to move along the street using waltz turns from formal ballroom dancing, also the person would grab the nearest member of the opposite sex and then waltz in a ballroom hold with a zero air gap between the two of them.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted! enjoy liability lawsuits for car accidents

I wish your essay of a grant were shorter

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Fine the essay of how the lead apron wish is messed up has become short, the font changes so that more letters fit on each line. The only problem is that all other fonts are deleted from your computer and you are unable to read the new font.

My new wish, I wish I had the superpower to force people to waltz along the street and that no body knew it was me doing it, that way they would not be able to sue each time they waltzed into a lamp post.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted! But the city looses so much moeny paying for damage that "no one caused" that they raise sales taxes to 30%

I wish people would just f*****g get along and not have problems.

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Ok people get on better, but since you mentioned the f word they have all become sex mad. The people start having random sex, and the sight of this in the street offends you.

BTW what do you mean by "I wish your essay of a grant were shorter", I am unsure what the G word is.

I wish that I could pick up a 20 cm by 20 cm by 20 cm cube of solid lead (80 kg) with one hand.

Also is this thread starting to become lead themed ?

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted! But you must melit it down and make lead aprons for me! all PVC

I wish that everyone in the world were autistic

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, no corruption.

I wish that the Earth had a meteorite defense system.

Granted, yet this defence system takes up so much power there is a worldwide power surge.

I wish I could speak German.

Granted, you can't write in German though.

I wish the meteorite defence was energy efficient.

Granted, but the metroid defense system still needs work, and we don't have a Samus Aran in sight.

I wish I could learn the morph ball technique.

Granted! The Morphine Ball!

I wish i could have an anesthesia machine and sevoflorane

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but the bill for the sevoflorane wipes out your bank balance.

I wish that I turn sand into Au, Rh, Os, Ir or Pt in my basement and then be able to see these metals and make a big profit.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted! The feds find your illegal conversion plant and shut you down!

I wish the damn economy was fixed

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but soon it gets bad again. Worse than ever before.

I wish for world peace.