Where is my..... [Game]

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^There.

Where is my chestnut tree ?

In England. Where they know what that means.

Where is my.. f**k I messed it up. Where is my shoe

With you other one, on the stairs.

Where is my phone call?

I think that person is going to be calling soon..

Where is my wisdom at a time like this?

The person I'm waiting for stole it, they're too busy with it to come to me.

Where is my message saying where someone was yesterday and/or today?

Being delivered by top secret post-it-note on the back of a construction worker's helmet through the streets of New York City.

Where is my new backyard swimming pool?

It's currently being built miss as of this statement..

Where is my gift of insight?

Wrapped up and waiting for the holidays.

Where is my ability to see what's right in front of me?

It's right in front of you, but it's invisible, so you can't see it.

Where is my friend from a much earlier time zone?

Your friend has just gone to sleep.

Where is my unauthorized autobiography?

I'm still ghost-writing it for you, but don't worry, I'm not mentioning anything embarrassing. (And anyway, your criminal history isn't TOO extensive, and everyone knows about your torrid affairs with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, right? And that financial scandal? And.... )

Where is my sense of adventure?

To retrieve it, you'll have to leap across this chasm; cling to the side of that speeding boat over there; win a fist fight with that big, ugly dude; hang from the rope dangling over the side of a hot air balloon that you've fallen down to after jumping out of an air plane; and then discover its secret whereabouts by getting an attractive stranger to reveal them to you during the throes of passion! Ready?

Where is my ability to accurately judge the character of other people?

You have it, but you lie to yourself about people.

Where is my alarm clock?

It got so alarmed that it ran away.

Where is my loganberry jam?

It got confused with another kind of berry-flavoured jam.

Where is my favourite thing to have for lunch?

It is at the lunch table awaiting you to eat it..

Where is my sense of integrity?