Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! Actually, not granted. The cake is a lie.

I wish that I could directly control people's thoughts at will.

Granted. A thought controlling gene has been added to the Human gene pool. Unfortunately everyone else can also control your thoughts now too.

I wish I could see someones face after eating one of these Windows 7 burgers:
http://www.electronista.com/articles/09 ... h.bk.deal/

Granted, it's a look of hunger, confusion, and after failing to be able to bite properly, frustration in that they have to use a knife and fork.



I wish, or rather hope, that that burger is using 9 to 1 patties and not the normal 3 to 1 for whoopers, since if they use the 3:1 patties, then that would be one heck of a bite, plus a single sandwich would have 7/3 or 2 and 1/3 pounds of beef. IDK, hope they get their money's worth also, Burger King actually costs more than Olive Garden in my area...

Granted, but the wish fairy lost the will to live while reading your long wish and has given you a job at McDonalds sweeping the floor.

I wish I could buy real English bacon in France.

Granted; but the people there won't sell you English bacon.

I wish I can be absent for any reason.

Granted, you are now absent minded. You don't know the reason - you forgot.

I wish I had my own personal helicopter.

Granted, a free personal helicopter all yours for the taking, just pay for the flight lessons costing only $5,000 per month for the rest of your life!! !




I wish that Mars will be colonized.

Granted. They start 10 seconds after you are buried.

I wish for a fish.

Granted. You can have one of these: Top 10 Ugliest Fish

I wish I could grant my own wishes.

Granted, but they all backfire one way or the other.

I wish that there would be more decent cartoons on T.V.

Granted. Welcome back to the 1980's.

I wish I could colonize a planet for aspies only.

Granted. You can... But you can't figure out how to get out of Johto!

I wish that I could make cheese levitate.

Granted, but since the word "levitate" comes from Latin "levare" which means "to lift or pick up or raise" all you need to do is elevate it manually.



After I have completed my major in accounting and have a stable job,
I'd like to attend college part time dual majoring in video game design and Latin.

Granted; those majors, however, are not offered anywhere, so you need to pick other choices.

I wish I could push through with my master's degree and work in the state.

Actually, "levitate" wasn't attested in English until the 17th century. It was a construction of levity (from levitās) and -ate (from -ātus).

That's not a wish.



Anyway...

Granted, but you turn into a werewolf.

I wish that I could flip a quarter and have it come up donkeys.

Granted, you flick a coin and while it is spinning in the air it catches the sunlight and a reflection hits a pilot in the eye of a transport aircraft that happened to be flying above you at the time. Dazzled, the pilot inadvertently banks the plane over on one side and the cargo door flies open - and his cargo of donkeys fall out on top of you.

I wish I could make a living doing a craft such as pottery or sculpture.