Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but in your hurry you forgot to wear your space suit and die.

I wish both of the lights in my bedroom worked properly (and continue to work properly forever).

Granted, they are now connected to your own personal nuclear reactor under your bed. The lights glow really bright... unfortunately so do you.

I wish for a fish and chip supper.

Granted, expect the quality to be bad due to the recipes being not the best. Oops, the fish jumped off the plate after cooking.

I wish for a fast car that never broke down.

Granted. You drive it as fast as you can on the highway and get into a spectacular accident. The car doesn't have a dent on it; but you on the other hand...

I wish I didn't feel so tired all the time.

Granted, for one moment of your life you feel fully awake, just one moment though.



I wish that I was more able to pay attention to school when I can't go to sleep at night, and get my homework done while I am able to.

Granted, you now pay attention at school. Pity you went to the wrong class though. Regarding your homework, you are now never able to do it so it never gets done.

I wish that I get the same wish as the next poster but benefit twice as much from it.

Granted; you get harmed by it fourfold.

I wish nothing negative nor bad happens to me in perpetuity.

Granted, you lead a happy life in the town called "Perpituity" however, on leaving the town boundary you are hit with a runaway bicycle onto a railway track into the path of a train which knocks you into a lake where you are attacked by barracuda fish. Despite this you struggle to shore where you are fined for fishing without a permit and sent to jail.

I wish for someone to put a million pounds into my bank account.

Granted; however, that million pounds is marked money. Then your bank account gets traced, and you get arrested for money laundering.

I wish I can have all the time in the world.

Granted; welcome to your new job as a clockmaker.

I wish my watch didn't stop.

Granted. Your watch never existed.

I wish hydrogen had more stable isotopes.

Granted. And fusion ceases in the sun. And the rest is history.

~

I wish my wireless router provided a more stable connection. (Hey, I keep it simple!)

Granted. Your router provides a stable connection, but your service provider does not.

I wish I could be more motivated.

Granted, a crowd of zombies is chasing you - you feel highly motivated to run now.

I wish there was less bureaucracy, less paperwork and less red tape from officials.

Granted--welcome to a world of anarchy.

I wish everyone is happy.

Granted, due to a massive explosion at a chemical factory a huge amount of happy-drug gets blasted into the atmosphere and everyone on the planet is very, very happy. So happy they can't be bothered to eat or drink and everyone dies.

I wish there wasn't a postal strike in England.