Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, your body gets its endothermic ability by pumping heat to your brain which has aquired exothermic abilities. You become more hot headed than usual and your brain explodes.

I wish the universe would stop going forwards in time and start going backwards instead.

Granted. Your post gets deleted (and so does this one, which means your wish isn't granted since you never asked for it)... Time then goes back to normal.

I wish I could get both Park Place & Boardwalk in the McDonald's Monopoly game.

Granted, but in exchange McDonalds have knocked down your home and built a fast food outlet there.

I wish had a chilli burger.

Granted; the "hotness" level is that of 100% pure capsaicin (active ingredient in chilies, if you might ask).

I wish my rest days were extended to a full week.

Granted, you have now been made redundant. Take as long as you want.

I wish my house was warmer.

Granted! its on fire!

I wish for endless neoprene!

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Granted; it's on fire!

I wish that Friday the 13th is lucky.

Granted. You move to China.

I wish I was lucky.

Granted; you turn into a four-leaf clover.

I wish my company declares tomorrow a no-work day.

Granted. You get laid off and replace with a guy from India.

I wish I could get payback on you for saying Molly Ringwald would'nt love me.

Granted. You just laid her off and replaced her with a guy from India.
(You really want a 41 year old lady who's almost 3 times your age??) http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/200 ... osters.jpg

I wish unions were illegal so they wouldn't try to hold our city hostage anymore with their stupid strikes...

Granted, your government decides to remove all workers rights in the process, forcing people to have 24-7 jobs, and not having any benefits, along with removing minimum wage all together. This effectively causes all people except the execs to be paid anywhere from 1-25 cents per hour. This in effect makes it impossible for the common man to survive and causes people to start dying in mass amounts. The bodies pile up to the point at which mass graves are needed to bury all the bodies.

I wish people didn't slam workers rights constantly...

Granted, people only slam them every 2nd Thursday of each month and the other days the workers are on unpaid leave due to no work being available.

I wish for more work!

Granted. You get twice as much work, but no more money.

I wish I had an android as smart as Commander Data.

Granted, but he is smarter than you, so you become his pet.

I wish I never had any bills to pay.

Granted. You just have to pay the Duckbill Platypus Mafia from now on, and never refer to the charge as a bill.

I wish I had an inventory system to manage my possessions with.