Where is my..... [Game]

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Sayonara! It's gone back to Osaka. That was its pigma stake?

Where is my erstwhile ultra-fine discernment?

Inside your hard drive

Where is my badge?

A huge magnet from outer space flew by and the badge stuck to it.

Where is my huge life altering lottery win?

In your dreams.

Where is my tax rebate?

At the bank.

Where is my magic sand?

I passed a builder using it in his magic concrete mixer to build the new road - he said it would make sure there was never any gridlock.

Where is my thermal hat and glove set - it's turned very cold.

In the glove compartment of your minivan.

Where is my light switch.

It's gone to McDonalds for a double-double-quarter-pounder with cheese because it doesn't like being light anymore.

Where is my bag of coffee beans?

It's bean and gone!

Where is my gas bill?

In the ups truck.

Where is my voice?

Did someone speak?

Where is my garden gate?

Sir John Prescott borrowed it earlier today for crowd control purposes.

Where is my ambient indoor fountain hiding?

It's gone for a walk. It thought it was an ambulant indoor fountain.

Where are my Tesco Reward Coupons?

^ My mistake he's just a common Lord.

Your coupons have been glued to the inside of the flimsy Tesco bags to prevent your custard creams from hitting the deck on the walk home.

Where is my ice-cream maker?

It's gone Down South. It can't stand the cold and the pay is better!

Where is my Lemsip?

I borrowed it because I ran out of sugar and was making a rhubarb crumble - sorry.

Where's my VOTE NO poster to hang at the back window to balance the VOTE YES poster I have at the front?