Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, after a good night out boozing you come home drunk and start hearing voices; then feel very sick and have a conversation with God on the big white porcelain telephone shouting "Oh God! God! Why did I drink so much!"

I wish for a bottle of a good red wine and a cheese baguette.

Granted, but the cheese is green and the bread is stale.

I wish for a delicious, healthy dinner to be hot and ready to eat when I next walk into the kitchen.

Granted, but a bluebottle gets there first and lays a thousand larvae on said food.

I wish I had better memory skills. I've had a poor memory from ever since I can remember.

Granted... Now you remember everything that you will have a RAM overload and a overheat

I wish I could just relax outside and let all my emotions out

Granted, yet running in circles around a small fire in your underwear is not quite enough to keep you warm in that English winter. You gain emotional freedom , almost at the cost of several digits.

Granted, you gain emotional freedom, but in a maximum security prison.

I wish I could go on a 'round the world trip'?

Yes, you do so. Many, in fact, when you are inadvertantly marooned in a small vessel orbiting our atmosphere.

I double wish I will sleep and dream tonight .. seeing as I forgot my last wish.

Granted, but you have an aisle seat and you are never allowed to leave the airplane until you're back home.

I wish I had something better than menopause to look forward to as the ending of PMS......

Granted, your periods have stopped because you are actually pregnant!

I wish my feet were warm.

Granted, they're sweating and starting to stink.

I wish I liked my psychiatrist.

Granted, he hypnotises you to like him.

I wish Santa came down my chimney tonight with lots of presents.

Granted.... you may find that this ain't Santa, its a burglar pretending to be Santa to steal your presents

I wish that my PSP would work

Granted but it's the low-budget version: ORO

ETA a wish! mmm, I wish I knew what a PSP was.

Granted, give it a thump - it worked with my television set believe it or not! It gave it a bash more in frustration than expecting it to help - now it works! Must have been a bad connection somewhere that the jolt put back together again.

I wish I had money to afford a new wide screen TV.

Granted, but .... with 5000 channels, there's STILL nothing on!

I wish I had the money to afford a nice little hermitage somewhere.

I wish I had the money to afford to repair and maintain my little hermitage.