Corrupt A Wish

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Granted ... but to get the money you have to take in 3 tenants, and then it's not much of a hermitage, is it?

I wish we still had the custom of a "jubilee year" when all debts are forgiven.

Granted, all the bank are happy now they don't have to pay any bail out money back to anyone.

I wish my garden wasn't so muddy at the moment.

Granted, the ground is frozen solid (like my garden).

I wish my garden were muddy instead of frozen solid.

Granted, you get a sudden monsoon and your garden is washed away.

I wish there were no slugs or snails in my garden.

Granted, you got a flock of ducks to eat them. Unfortunately, they also like to eat the vegetables in the garden.

I wish there were no bermuda grass in Maryland.

Granted.... They can still stick on walls on fences... then you can blame your neighbour there.

I wish I can stand near a person with a couple of balloons... I can't stand the sound of them

granted, you can no longer hear them. You can't really hear anything really.

I wish for a nobel prize in medicine

Granted, there is now a Nobel prize in medicine. You, however, will never win it.

I wish I hadn't burned the veggies......

granted, some one else burned them first.

I wish I could breathe through my nose.

Granted, your mouth is wired shut so you can only breathe through your nose.

I wish my neck didn't hurt.

Granted, now your head does.

I wish for free mountain dew for life.

Granted, it will rot out your teeth and you'll be on a liquid diet, so enjoy it!

I wish the turnips were already peeled and cubed and in the pot.

granted, but they are right next to the pillow you can't find.

I wish I had a magic cookie that would grant me one wish.

Granted, but you wasted your wish on wishing for the cookie.

I wish it would quit snowing already.

Granted, but the pot is left to boil tto long and dinner is ruined.

I wish I could type faster

Granted, you scratch it so hard you draw blood and get infected.

I wish mosquitos would hurry up and go extinct.