Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Granted, you gave her flowers (girls love to be given flowers ... nothing elaborate, something simple like daisies or daffodils)

I wish I could lose this constant feeling of wishing for something that isn't.....

Granted, you have a lobotomy and are now happy with everything.

I wish I had more onion recipes, I grew too many last year and have a garage full of them.

Granted, you have some absolutely scrumptious recipes, but when you get to the garage for the onions you find they've all gone soft and fuzzy green.

I wish I could raid your stash before that happens.....

Granted, but the ten rotweiller dogs in the garage take a dislike to you and well...

(A discovery I made the other year is that if you have some smaller onions left over stick them back into the garden when they start to shoot and go soft and they tend to divide (like shallots do) into three or four onions similar to spring onions - best to harvest straight away when they do that or they tend to run to seed).

I wish the pigeons don't steal my veg this year.

Granted. The pigeons will steal your ten Rottweilers.

I wish my next-door neighbor's racing pigeons will win lots of races this year.

Granted, they win lots of races before airport security grounds them for security reasons.

I wish I liked rabbit meat.

Granted, but rabbits now like to eat your flesh, too.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, you had a million dollars but a banker wanted it, so took it off you for his bonus.

I wish I had a beer.

Granted, but it's a Bud Light.

I wish I had already turned in these two papers I have no motivation to write.

Granted, but they were written by a computer program that writes the same word 50'000 times.

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.

Granted, the economy has completely failed, and all the teachers have been fired. Sadly, the last person with any money is a hermit who refuses to spend it.

I wish I was a non-depressed version of Marvin, the depressed robot, who knows the meaning of life.

Granted, you know the meaning of life, but since you're a robot and not alive, it tells you nothing about the meaning of your own existence.

I wish the congressional Democrats would get it together, already.

Granted, they now know the steps perfectly and have perfect timing, when doing the YMCA dance together.


I wish that I could have had my garage sale on the weekend, rather than it being rained out.

Granted, but you will now have forty years of drought.


I wish I had an infinite number of wishes.

You do have an infinite number of wishes, but only 3 of them will come true.

I wish I could have stayed in bed longer this morning.

Granted... Now you are now the laziest person on here and you sleeping = you missing the fun

I wish that valentines day was lucky for me? **Sigh**