Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Denied.... because i've already been eatened

I wish I could live inside WP?

Granted. But the digitizing of your body is flawed and causes your limbs to become links, and users constantly clicking on them tickles you into insanity.

~

I wish I could understand other people's intentions.

Granted... Now you are now a robot, I would would annoy you until you malfunction

I wish that I was an old man

Granted. However, you're now unable to eat by yourself and you poop in your trousers regularly.

~

I wish humanity would ditch religion.

granted, but with the absence of religion people abandon war, deception, murder, mutilation, and enslavement in the name of their (defunct) gods and embrace peace, scientific rationalism, and humanitarianism... and a deep respect for the earth is developed...

the shackles of ignorance and dogma are cast aside and humanity and all plants and creatures that inhabit the earth (our only home) are better for it.

i can't destroy this wish!

i guess i lose. lol

*****

i wish for a kitten

Granted, a sex kitten comes your way. You never thought you'd be so happy about a kitten with a bunny tail. She's cute at first, then ... her nail polish stinks out your loungeroom and all the extra cushions can't hide the 'mistakes' that happen when she 'multi-tasks' with vodka, nail polish and cigarettes on your new sofa. The cigarette smell you don't really notice because her (naaaaaaaasty) perfume covers it up, and when you do stop, about to wonder what's the matter, she mews at you so you can never growl again, only beg like a puppy. The denial is OK, until you finally wake up one day to find all valuables in the house gone and yourself left with a few plastic leftovers that used to be furniture before the cigarette burns.

You die a grumpy bachelor.



****

I wish I could have roses on valentines day from someone I like

Granted.... Now your house will be over flooded with your admirers roses...
(hey mysassyself )

I wish that I could be famous?

Heh heh, now YOUR house will be over flooded with your admirer's roses (and .. other items )

Hey superboyian!




I wish I could preserve all said roses, so I can paint them all.

Granted... Now the roses will no longer be realistic and will be converted to an unpleasant material..

(How's life been for you lately?)


I wish that I could see my girlfriend again?

Ah, yes you see her and.. because you totaaally forget the whole valentine's 'thang' the knife she was going to use to carve the roast dinner she so lovingly made for you to go with her favourite dessert chocolates that you 'forgot' inadvertantly goes into your chest, piercing your heart in a bizarre bedside fireplace tale of how NOT to do V. Day.

She whispers 'you're dumped' before you die. You die a bachelor

**
**


I wish I could die a bachelor.



****


Life.. is one big extreme sport, superboyian. One big extreme sport.

Granted.... Your wish is may command but it would mean that you can't get any men that you admire in your life anymore and that I would assume could be pretty dull.


I wish that could of planned my day sooner than later.

######

I'm guessing things doesn't sound too good, if you want, you can PM me, i'm normally supportive with things like that... but meh... I've been the same about my love life definitely.

Oh, yes, being an aspie means planning your day sooner, means planning and a bit more planning and a bit more planning.


Sounds like what my life has been like. I've made detailed plans of at least two different lives in the last couple months ! ! But.. I'm going back to school soon and I really, really want it to be right
No time to spare, either. Certainly aren't any men I like in my life

Only one on the fringe who I never liked who doesn't seem to understand that 'I don't want a relationship with you' and 'I can't talk right now' means exactly that. grr.

Did I mention I'm going back to school soon?

Granted, but the Seven Dwarves come along too as chaperons.
They sit in a corner and give you menacing looks while they sharpen they're axes!
This completely discombobulates you and all you can say to Snow White is 'buh' 'buuh?' and 'bu' bu'bu' buh'


I wish I had a giant spider I could ride on !

And,m you also wish you could separate your fairy stories, perhaps. Chuckle.

Your wish is granted; the giant spider has mandibles the size of bananas and although you have it de-fanged for safety, it still has an aggressive streak and confronts children on the school path regularly. Being a spider, it does this well, bringing home limbs with increasing regularity. On the plus side, local native wildlife is booming due to the spider's concurrent fascination with dismembering cats - they seem the perfect size for it too.

As a vehicle, it has elements of advantage like no other, enabling you to move quickly in a beeline anywhere you like. Trees are free and so cheaper than parking and traffice jams - pfff, thing of the past. The motor movement is smooth and the spider can run short distances across water or go sideways across walls.



Unfortunately, after it mashes your arm and starts pre-digesting you from the elbow and you bash it with a nearby axle until its guts run green

****

I wish that I had a dishwasher.

Granted !
Superboyian, here's some rubber gloves and an apron !
Wash the ladies dishes !

(That was my first job, ya gotta start somewhere!)


I wish if I said Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, he would appear
and we could hang out and eat Pizza !