Corrupt A Wish

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granted...but your brain is constantly interpreting multiple dimensions causing perpetual migraine


I wish for the power to control the minds of others

Granted. But people and governments all over the world view you as a threat and eventually succeed at taking you down.

~

I wish this wish could not be granted.

but it is granted anyway

I wish for the ability to at will conjure snacks

Granted. But as you try it out for the first time, the energy spent had to come from somewhere, so you dissolve and become a licorice flavored lollipop.

~

I wish I were more powerful than Chuck Norris.

Granted...but then you become the equivalent to a god and thus a religion is formed around you and then you spend all eternity listening to whining people mis-reading your will.

I wish that I could shoot lightning from my fingertips

Granted, but you have to become a Jedi Knight first, which is really exhausting,
Then you have to rise up through the ranks of politicians, which will Really Wear
You Out
And Then,
You have to seduce your latest inductee into the Dark Side !


...This has worked before, but may have unforeseen ramifications in the future.


I wish that I (hic) coul(hic)d (hic)st(hic)op (hic)hic(hic)up(hic)ping(hic)!
(I(hic)t's(hic) re(hic)ally(hic) (hic)st(hic)ar(hic)ting(hic) to an(hic)noy(hic)
me(hic)
(hic) (hic)

Granted. You will never hiccup again in your life. Instead, you will forever suffer from uncontrollable flatulence.

I wish for peace on Earth and the end of world hunger forever.

Granted, war is abolished and cannibalism made compulsory.

I wish I didn't feel stressed when unexpected things happen.

Granted... Now your stressed when you expect things to happen...

I wish that I wasn't heartbroken all the time?

Granted, you have your heart removed and replaced with a stainless steel electrically powered one. Only thing is ... it runs on mains power, so you have to remain within 20 feet of a power supply socket (that's how long your power cord is.)

I wish never to have any illness ... ever.

Granted.... Now you have a robotic immune system that the only you would get is a spyware, worm and a trojan horse..

I wish that viruses on computers didn't exist?

Granted, all computers have the microprocessor removed to prevent infection by viruses.

I wish I didn't feel tired.

You do not feel tired, you are constantly high on caffine or speed. You are so high that your heart is beating super fast and you are starting to trip and see odd things. The odd things are perfectly horrible.

I wish that Lene Nystrøm (the young lady in Aqua) would appear in my work place and sing sweet songs each day at 10 AM for 30 minutes.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, what a shame they changed your working hours from midday to midnight.

I wish I had a wishing well.

You have a wishing well, it is able to make wishes which come true. The nasty thing is that the well makes wishes which are bad for you. For example the well wishes that you are thrown into the well.

I wish that Lene Nystrøm would appear in my work place two hours after I start each work session, she would then dance and sing sweetly things like classic aqua songs. I also want to state that I am allowed the pleasure of being allowed to sit back, put my clogged feet up and enjoy the show each day.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

granted but you suddenly go deaf so you cannot enjoy

I wish I could move objects with my mind