Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, this should keep you quiet for a while: a copy of War and Peace by Tolstoy in the original Russian.

I wish I hadn't forgotten the Russian I had learned.

Granted! Everyone learns you really are a Russian.

I wish I could be able to speak French.

So do I - I live in France! so wish granted, you have been conscripted to the French Foreign legion and spend ten years in the desert. Your French is now excellent.

I wish there was something good on TV

Granted, your butt is literally stuck at the back seat with super glue.

I wish that tomorrow could just hurry up?

Granted, a huge asteroid hits the Earth increasing its rotational spin causing the sun to rise 5 minutes earlier tomorrow than it should do. Unfortunately the impact was so severe nobody was left alive to see the new day anyway.

I wish for a bowl of noodles.

Granted, but the noodles, like the barbecue and the sandwich, give you indigestion.

I wish my city had public transportation.

Granted, more traffic, more people, NO chance.
(Haven't you asked that before?)

I wish that I was never tired?

I don't know, and I'm too lazy to go back and look.



Granted, but your lack of sleep causes you to become mentally unstable.

I wish today were Saturday instead of Sunday.

Granted, but now your stuck in the past, and there are weird creatures out to eat you.

I wish I could turn into a phoenix at will.

Granted, and for every entropic action there is an equal and opposite reaction - in other words, your phoenix fire kills everyone in your immediate vicinity. You are soon in trouble with the law, being man/woman(sorrry forgot to check your sex)/phoenix hunted, as well as having several large bounties placed upon you by relatives of those left dead in your mass-murderous wake.

You metamorphise yourself again one final time to live forever in heaven at your own will

oh yeh..

I wish for a functioning short term memory.

Granted, but now you have a non-functioning long-term memory.

I wish I could sleep right now.

Granted, you fall asleep at the keyboard and fall of your chair breaking your arm.

I wish my trigeminal neuralgia would go away.

Granted; it would be replaced by a perpetual headache.

I wish I could regenerate money I spent in an instant.

Granted, now you have regenerated fake money, I'm afraid we cannot send you the product of your choice.

I wish that I'm pro when it comes to gaming?

Granted you are now a pro Gameboy.

I wish a new version of the Matrix would be made... but better than the last two.