Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but as soon as that happens, they bring out Gothic IV

I wish my job was much simpler!

Granted but you make money doing nothing.

I wish Tom Cruise wasn't such an arrogant jackass!

Granted, but Katie Holmes becomes an arrogant jackass.

I wish that Global Warming was cured.

Granted, but it becomes warmer and colder at the same time.

I wish people would not treat the autistic like animals.

Granted but then they treat us the same as NTs!


I wish my garden hadn't been wrecked by yesterday's storm.

Granted, but all the rain in the ground causes the plants to grow rapidly, and you can't go outside anymore.

I wish that if God existed, he/she/it would show him/her/itself to humans.

Granted, but God shows itself to destroy the world because we're all unworthy. So sad.

I wish people wouldn't think that just because I have Aspergers that I'm a total idiot and can't do things for myself.

Granted, but now you are pestered 24/7 for your advice and know-how about every subject on Earth (and a few subjects off-Earth as well).

I wish I could read at a faster rate.

Granted, but...your brain overloads, because you can't process the information at that speed.

I wish for an uncorruptable wish!

granted but it doesnt work

I wish my guitar convinced me more often that there's no need to seek a significant other as I've got it.

Granted. You and your guitar form such an intense pair-bond that you become the Axe King of all time, your concerts turn into maelstroms of shrieking fans, and you are shadowed constantly by stalkerazzi.

I wish that mosquitoes would stop biting me.

They stop biting you but you get the dreaded mosquito virus.

I wish My mother had the money so I could go to Oklahoma.

Granted, but after you arrive in Oklahoma, and the folks there find out that "posting" is your favourite hobby, they hand you the keys to a pickup truck loaded with a post-hole auger, a sledgehammer, a shovel and a huge stack of fenceposts.

I wish my lawn would not grow so quickly. (We're supposed to be in a drought, fer cryin' out loud!)

granted but the grass shrinks and now you have bear soil and you can see all the bugs in it!
i wish i was the universe

Granted but you eventually become so exhausted with it all you think 'To hell with this' and shut off.

I wish I was that awesome King Zant in Zelda Twilight Princess. He's coooooool.