Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. It now leaves off the message about being busy.

I wish I could become invisible.

Granted. You are now an unhappy ghost.

~

I wish I was as dexterous as Bruce Lee.

Denied.

I wish I am thrice as rich as Bill Gates is.

Granted. Now everybody wants to be your friend - although, everything about this feels ambivalent.

~

I wish the next generation would all be aspies.

Granted, however we can only communicate with each other via Wrong Planet. If you thought it was slow now, then...

I wish for a productive afternoon.

Granted; it is, however, a stressful day as well.

I wish I could sleep more and work less.

Granted, you contract sleeping sickness.

I wish for more gravy with my dinner.

Granted. Now you only get gravy for dinner.

~

I wish I could hack into a bank and steal money without anybody noticing.

Granted, you now have a hacksaw. It may take you a while though, the safe door is solid steel and a foot thick.

I wish someone would deposit £1M into my bank account.

Granted. Somebody just deposited 1 pound meat into your account.

~

I wish I was rich and famous.

Granted, you were rich and famous. Now you are a down and out.

I wish the local farmer wouldn't leave a trail of mud down the lane outside my house.

Granted. Now he leaves a trail of mud inside your house instead.

~

I wish gravity suddenly worked the other way, pushing things outwards instead of pulling them inwards.

Granted, all the matter has exploded to a zillion elementary particles.


I wish I was a 6 ft tall lumberjack.

Granted. But then you lumbered your own legs away and became only 3 feet tall.

~

I wish the background of this message flashed at a frequency of 12.7 Hz.

( She's a lumberjack, and she's okay.
She sleeps all night and she works all day... )

Granted, frequency of 12.7 Hz... I don't know why but just thinking about that frequency makes me feel nauseous for some reason. You also become violently ill.

I wish French TV would show the original Monty Python series (and not dubbed into French).

Granted. They dub it in Japanese instead.

I wish Firefly hadn't been cancelled.