Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but she is a cannibal.

I wish the next poster would call me sometime...

You want a cannibal vegetarian to call you? Granted. But I ate the piece of paper with your phone number on it because I couldn't figure out what species I was to be a cannibal.

I wish I had telekinesis.

Granted, but you don't know how to use it. I wish I didn't have to read for my economy exam.

Granted, but now you have to take 2 economy exams.

I wish I had magical powers.

Granted, but you have to eat Magic Mushrooms to posses them.

I wish that NT teenagers respected everybody, instead of presuming that people who look disabled, are babies.

Granted, but they then disappear like all mythical creatures. The NT's all start to die off as they reach puberty and the Aspies inherit the Earth! Woohoo!

So that's what he meant by "the meek"...

I wish I could visit the RIGHT planet for a while.

Granted, but once you get there, the inhabitants say, "Life wasn't meant to be easy," and send you back here.

I wish I could alter my appearance at will.

Granted, but one day you turn into Michael Jackson and you get stuck and little children and soccer mom's fear you...!

I wish i had a p*nis that was a foot long and eight inches thick!

Granted, but it's bent and broken.

I wish Santa Claus would get into a wrestling match on TV.

Granted, but now Santa won't give you presents anymore. I wish my car had a Cosworth engine and a racing running gear.

Granted, but it breaks down frequently.

I wish I had a lovely girlfriend who remained my loving girlfriend for the rest of my long and prosperous life.

ironic that I would respond, no? (sorry) K. She remains your girlfriend, but unfortunately shes a man.


I wish I could be happy.

Granted, but you're happy for an infinitestimally small fraction of a second, then you're sad again.

I wish the word infinitestimally wasn't so long.

Granted, but the eternal happiness is causing you to laugh in the most inappropriate moments. I wish a lot of attractive girls were interested in me.

Lol. Whatever, I'm over it.

Granted, but the girls all die of unexplained causes on their next birthday.

I wish that I could turn invisible at my own free will.

Granted, but now your being hunted by both Ra and SG1.


I wish universities were free of admission and there was such a thing as "job security."