Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, that sounds very relaxing. Hmmmm, I didn't know the Loch ness monster had relocated... there it is just behind you...

I wish to claim the prize I've been awarded in the Nigerian national lottery. The email came this morning. I'm so excited.

Granted ... you get locked up by the police for being a party to the scam scheme.

I wish I could snap my fingers and close my eyes, and when I opened them back up the whole house would be CLEAN.

Granted, while your eyes are closed a crack team of ninja burglars completely empty your house, dust and all.

I wish my motorbike worked and was registered for driving in France.

Granted, but you fail the test to get licensed to drive motorbikes in France.

I wish I hadn't eaten so many potato chips just now.

Granted, you ate a lot of potato skins.

I wish I didn't have the fever.

Granted. You have the chills now.

I wish I could change the within visual range weather.

Granted. You make it always sunny and mild, of course, and the lack of rain turns your region into a desert.

I wish moving weren't so much work.

Granted, burglars steal all your stuff so there isn't so much to move.

I wish to have five minutes outside in the sunshine this afternoon.

Granted, but that's it for the rest of the weekend.

I wish the weather will be nice this coming Sunday.

Granted, but it's only for the other side of the country.

I wish a great animator would tutor me.

Granted, you go back in time and work for Walt Disney (apparently he was a tyrant to work for).

I wish for a sky dive from 5 miles up (with a functional parachute that I know how to work)

Granted; unfortunately, the air is so thin up there you pass out and fail to open the parachute.

I wish Fr. P hadn't bought frozen breaded sole for me to serve tonight. I want to COOK, not just reheat junk!

Granted, he brought you a live dolphin to cook.

I wish for a little bottle of beer.

Granted, but it's a stale one.

I wish I was invisible.

Errr.... I was about to grant that but you have disappeared.

I wish I was a lumberjack.

Granted. You're a lumberjack and you're ok. You sleep all night and you work all day... Yes. It's the monty python sketch.

I wish I had a dashing wit.