Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, he is coming early... in fact he is here now!

I wish it rains tonight so I don't have to irrigate the garden tomorrow.

Granted, there is a flood of Biblical proportions and you make an arc instead.

I wish I wasn't drowsy.

Granted, you fall asleep instantly for a 100 years.

I wish for a flock of sheep to trim my lawn.

Granted, however, now you don't have a lawn, it has been eaten!

I wish I didn't sleep on the floor.

Granted, after some rather strong meds you are now sleeping on the ceiling.

I wish to watch the sunset.

Granted, you watch it from mars where you both freeze and asphyxiate to death.


I wish I could hypnotise bank tellers into handing over thousands of pounds.

Granted. They hand over many punches. (Poundings.)

I wish I had a flock of EVIL ducks.

Granted, and you receive thousands of horrendous bills.

I wish I could teleport around the world?

Granted, you just did, all the way around the world and back to where you started.

I wish I could live on Mars.

Granted. Mars is the only place you can live. Shame that you're still on earth.

~

I wish I received all positive aspects of all previous wishes.

Granted your body can only digest mars bars and you grow to weigh 70 stone.


I wish I could read minds?

Granted. You go insane from all the voices.

I wish for a strange platypus.

Granted, but it is actually a mammal with a ducks beak glued to it.

I wish for a giraffeopotamus.

Granted, but the punishment is an illegal instruction.

I wish I could RELEASE THE BOGUS.

Granted; the BOGUS gets released from you.

I wish I could re-sleep my sleep right now.

Granted, but you are now a leeeeeaf!

I wish, I wish, I were a fish.