Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but if you can't squeeze your foot into the little glass slipper the prince won't marry you.

I wish my hair didn't stick up so funny in the morning, so I could go out of the house without washing it.

Granted, you discover a new hairspray of Chinese manufacture that seems to work very well. Difficult to understand the tin though as it is all in Chinese until you notice at the bottom in small print it says "Industrial super-glue"

I wish my toupee didn't blow off in the wind.

Granted. The last time it blew off a woodchuck took it down its burrow. It won't be blowing off again.

I wish I hadn't taken Benadryl in the wee hours last night, I had a hard time waking up this morning.

Granted, you took it half an hour ago instead.

I to drag myself away from this site for a while.

Granted; you've been sitting here so long in one position, your feet have gone numb, so you have to literally drag yourself away....

I'm off to the farm ... I wish the landlady will COMMIT already, and give me a key to the apartment!

Granted, she gets you committed.

I wish my friend was online.

Granted your friend is online... only to be offline in a couple of seconds later.

I wish for a scooter (motorcycle) that you legally ride in school and anywhere else.

Granted your friend is online... only to be offline in a couple of seconds later.

I wish for a scooter (motorcycle) that you legally ride in school and anywhere else.

Granted, but you run over a teacher and are banned from riding it.

I wish for an Acme rocket pack.

Granted but along with the Acme Rocketpack is Wiley Coyote.


I wish I could design things for a living.

Granted, you are now chief designer of light bulbs for a company in China.

I wish for a banana smoothie.

Granted, but it caused diarrhoea.

I wish for some proper sleep.

Granted, while delivering a Pizza you accidentally stumble into a cryogenic unit and wake up after a real good sleep.

I wish for a job at Planet Express.

Granted, but it only lasts for a day because you've been sacked.

I wish I knew what the future will bring.

"The Future Is Not Set, There Is No Fate But What We Make For Ourselves." - The Terminator

I wish to watch Terminator 4 (not seen it yet)

Granted, but it's been edited to cut out violence inappropriate for pre-schoolers.

I wish Tony didn't smoke cigars.