Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you put the wrong date on the adverts... everyone is coming next month!

I wish for some rain for the garden.

Granted; now the ground is too wet to dig.

I wish roosters weren't so mean.

Granted, they now generously wake you up an hour earlier every day.

I wish for my eye-strain headache to go away.

Granted. Now you have a blinding-light headache instead.

I wish I could find my reading glasses so I could get this splinter out of my finger.

granted, but your body's response to the splinter has somehow led to your prescription changing significantly.

I wish I had a bunch of psych textbooks to read.

Granted, you receive a box of psych textbooks from China. You can read Chinese, can't you?

I wish I weren't so sleepy all the time lately.

Granted, you are no longer sleepy all the time because you are asleep all the time.

I wish to live in a cave in the Himalayas.

Granted, you live in a cave in the Himalayas, but not for long because you starve to death before you freeze to death.

I wish Whole Foods were not such a long drive from here (and from the new place, too)

Granted, they build a store right next to your house. Unfortunately there isn't much parking so you have to climb over the cars to get to your front door.

I wish for a cool glass of water with a slice of lemon in it.

Granted, the girl at the next table thinks you're staring at her (though really you're staring at nothing, daydreaming), gets annoyed and throws her cool glass of water with slice of lemon over your head.

I wish (again) I didn't have so many allergies. Oak has passed, grass is now high.

Granted, you only have one allergy now... to oxygen.

I wish for a weeks holiday in the ISS orbiting the Earth.

Granted; you have three shipmates: a married couple, one of whom caught the other in the act of adultery with the third person, the morning before launch. It gets a little scary up there........

I wish I could make breakfast by just thinking about it, without having to actually get up from this chair.

Granted, your brain is now hard wired to your kitchen, seems you aren't going anywhere very far now.

I wish to take a break, I'm getting a little eye-strain headache. (maybe need new specs )

OK, Tally, see ya later.

I wish to go make some breakfast now.

Granted and just as it is prepared ten workmen arrive and sit in your kitchen and eat it, demanding more bacon rolls and cups of tea.

I wish to do some work shortly.

Granted, I'll have your bacon rolls and cups of tea ready for you

I wish ten workmen would show up, get my new apartment ready to move into, pack my things, clean the house, transport my belongings to the apartment and unpack.