Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, it pays itself out of your bank account, with a 100% mark-up for the convenience.

I wish I could just go on vacation, and come home all moved into my new apartment.

Granted, but due to a mixup all your things have been shipped to North Korea and the apartment has been leased to someone else.

I wish for a vacation in Croatia.

Granted! but a big mass murder happens and you die!

I wish for a 100 pound leather blanket

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Granted, it costs you £100 but weighs only 10 ounces.

I wish for a glass of red wine.

Granted ... I've got it right here. Not sure any will be left by the time you swim the Atlantic for it, though.

I wish I were better at this sort of thing (packing & moving)

Though you you'll soon find out that you are incapable of remembering if you did pack at all and just transported a bunch of empty boxes.

I wish for sleep.

You had a terrifying nightmare and couldn't wake up from it

I wish for High distinction for this semester

Granted, you are distinctly high all semester after smoking too much weed and consequently flunk.

I wish my dog was better behaved.

Granted, it has entered high society and will be on the presidential ballot. You are his/her manager.

I wish for a nice hat.

Granted, you may need to trim your claws though, they may clash with the outfit.



I wish for a new MP3 player.

You may get one but it will only hold three songs, two of which are preinstalled lectures on dental hygeine.

I wish I could talk to my cats.

Granted, and you find out your cats are plotting to kill you in your sleep.

I wish someone would bring me my chocolate chai in bed.

Granted, Zombie Stalin brings you your Chai.

I wish I didn't have to waste so much time sleeping. There is so much to do ><.

Granted, but you are convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison. Better get readin' then.

I wish I could be able to time travel.

Granted, but you get only a one-way ticket. Are you sure you want to take the chance?

I wish my body were 20 years younger but the rest of me stay my current age. (Not for aesthetics, for the aches and pains!)

Granted, you now have to work an extra 20 years before retirement.

I wish my tooth wasn't so sensitive (I think I've lost a filling).