Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. It's a negative salary.

I wish I had all 7 Chaos Emeralds.

Granted, you have a picture of each one.

I wish that I could control the speed/flow of time precisely both forward and backward.

Granted, but someone else also wishes for the same thing and you land up having a tug of war over time.

I wish that I had the skills of a ninja pirate with a jetpack.

Granted, but your skills are only used to clean up garbage on the side of the highway.

I wish that I could levitate.

Granted; you, however, can never go back to the ground.

I wish all of my wishes are indisputable and incorruptible.

Granted, but none of your other wishes ever get granted.

I wish for the question to the answer.

Granted. You're now a contestant on Jeopardy.

I wish for a cross-country underground tunnel.

(That's actually something I'd enjoy )

Granted, it's a few nanometers in diameter and collapsed every few feet.

I wish for the knowledge of all things, including how to make an incorruptible wish.

Granted, you find out that in order to make an incorruptible wish, you have to go through a 75-year-long process of vision quests, fasting, magic spells, dragon slaying, formulating and swallowing disgusting potions, and kissing frogs. That's for each wish.

I wish I hadn't picked up the laptop this morning and gotten sucked in...........

Granted, it falls out a window landing on a wealthy executive's head and he proceeds to sue you for damages.

I wish I had my own background music of which I have control of the volume and track playing.

Granted ... you win an iPod with 500 polkas on it.

I wish we could get that fence finished today.

Granted, you get the fence finished today but the workmanship is shoddy and the paint is not of uniform thickness.

I wish the US would return to the gold standard.

Granted, but it turns out all the gold in Fort Knox is Iron Pyrites.

I wish to sleep like the dead tonight.

Granted, now you will never wake up again since you are official the oldest person on the forum.

I wish to have woken up at a different location?

Granted, you wake up in the middle of the world's largest sand dune, then you never wake up again.

I wish to have the Midas touch but with the ability to control what does and does not become gold.

Granted. everything you touch now turns into Iron Pyrite and you go to jail trying to pass i off as real gold.

I wish The white house was red.