Corrupt A Wish

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Do I smell smoke??

Granted, Krusty the Klown has one aimed at your face.

I wish someone else could go do my errands.

Granted, you employ a servant at $50 per hour to do all your errands. He is 95 years old and gets about on a zimmer frame, but your errands will be finished... sooner or later.

I wish for a new car.

Granted. You receive a starving Ethiopian child and are sued by ACLU.

I wish I had an Ethiopian servant child and protection from lawsuits.

Granted, but the Ethiopian mob puts a hit out on you.

I wish for some spiffy new flip flops.

Granted, but they're size 1.

I wish I had the ability to see my subconscious.

Granted. you never wake up again.

I wish my TV was the Size of an IMAX.

Granted, but all it plays is the movie "Grease".

I wish I could sit in front of the computer all day.

Granted, you can no longer move.

I wish for all existence to end.

Granted. There never was existence anyway so everything stays the same.

I wish Listerine came out with a bacon flavored mouthwash.

Granted, it's made with soilent green as its top ingreedient.

I wish for the whole of existence to end five seconds in the future so as to avoid temporal paradoxes.

Granted; and it will all be restored 5.000000000000001 seconds into the future as if nothing had happened.

I wish I knew where to start working today.

Granted, but now your work never stops.

I wish I was a best selling author.

Granted, you write and sell many books but are then caught plagiarizing and loose it all.

I wish that everyone had to experience one (or would it be two...) personal time paradox within their life before continuing with it as normal.

Granted, but everyone finds the experience completely uninspiring.

I wish I got paid what I deserve.

Granted, you get fired and as such are paid nothing.

I wish I was eternally satisfied.

Granted -- have you accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? (said in a thick southern accent)

I wish it were easier to be a Christian.