Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, it never rains again where you live!

I wish for your rain - my garden is bone dry!

You request is granted but you will have to change your name to Monsieur T. Drypatch.

Where is my pumice stone, I have a rough patch on my elbow ?

It gave you elbow and left you... complaining that you gave it a hard life.

Where is my treacle pudding?

it renicarnated into toe jam pudding and is now being sold in third world countries as staple food

where are my keys that were stolen at walmart?

A stranger will insert them into your front door lock ten minutes after you leave the house

I wish to never receive any more spam.

Granted, you've been banned from the internet.

I wish that I could breathe fire.

Granted. Of course, no one will ever be willing to kiss you because of it.

I wish my dad would learn to control his temper and his tongue.

Granted you breath fire, but out the wrong end though...

I wish I had the ability to phase in and out of reality and movies, games, novels at will with no adverse hazards to my health.

Granted. He will be sent to a residential dad pound with Caesar the dog whisperer and be retrained within the week.

Granted. but you will have to live your life attached to a bungee rope.

I wish I had someone to play tennis with this afternoon, as I love a knock about now and again.

Granted, and you will even win the game. However your opponent will end up mad enough to knock you about afterwards.

I wish my new client didn't have a low-sodium diet.

Granted, he is allergic to all foods that contain water.

I wish it would rain cats and dogs; or as they say in France: I wish it would rain stair rods.

Granted but the stair rods puncture many holes in your roof and your home fills up with rain.

I wish my load of washing to be magically hung out to dry.

Granted, but as soon as it's out it starts raining stair rods (what are stair rods?)

I wish the buyer's agent didn't change the date & time of settlement without telling me, much less asking me.

(stair rods are those rods that (used to be) placed at the back of each step on stairs to hold the carpet in position to stop it slipping.)

Granted, the buyer has now pulled out completely.

Are you out of wishes?

I wish for a wish