Corrupt A Wish

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Granted; the fire produced by the lightning, however, will counteract the cooling effect, hence consider your wish denied.

I wish for a cooler temperature.

Granted. You have been teleported to Mars without proper gear or protection.

I wish that I could run faster than a cheetah.

No problem!

However the cheetahs are jealous of your skill and eat your face while you sleep.

I wish that everyone was dead, except for me!

Granted, Everyo

(I wish to come back to life again.)

Granted. You come back to life, but this time as a silk worm and there is a world shortage of silk scarves so you only live for a day.

I wish for no traffic on the roads while I drive into town this afternoon.

Granted. Wouldn't you like to know why you are absolutely the only driver on the road?

I wish I didn't have so much outdoor work to do in this god-awful heat.

The low-loader will be with you in the morning to transfer your outdoors to Antartica.
They will leave you a timetable of passing ships so that your commute to work isn`t hindered.

I wish I wasn`t so thirsty today.

Granted, you're on a liquid diet -- hungry, yes, but not thirsty!

I wish I could settle on 5 recipes to cook for my new clients.

Granted, you go temporarily insane and cook five of your clients.

I wish I didn't have to babysit my sister tomorrow.

Granted. Your sister gets paid to babysit You and sends you to bed at 5 o'clock.

I wish I never had to hear a sports story on the news ever again!

Granted, a football crowd is shouting so loud you become permanently deaf and never hear a sports news story every again.

I wish to never see a sports story on the news ever again!

Granted. Your tv is upgraded to switch to an annoying Steam Mop commercial every time football appears on the news.

I wish to stop yawning.

Granted, your jaw dislocates while yawning and now you are unable to yawn at all.

I wish for a glass of cool beer.

Granted. A glass of Tactical Nuclear Penguin is on the bar waiting for you. I am told by some young folk it is very cool but sadly will be served to you quite warm.

I wish for some root beer poured over some cosmetically altered ice cubes.

Granted; your beer is made of celery roots, and the ice cubes have been cosmetically altered to resemble tomato hornworms.

I wish I could drink wine all day without getting more than just pleasantly mellow.

Granted, but drinking anything else will make you drunk as a pig.

I wish for my birthday to hurry up and arrive.