Corrupt A Wish

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Granted it was there while you weren't looking.

I wish I hadn't eaten so much this evening.

Granted, you turn in to a 50 ft. giant, so what you ate was nothing at all.

I wish I wasn't being so lazy.

Granted, you now go for a 20 mile run... Off you go! Bye!

I wish I had more hair than Captain Picard.

Granted, but Picard shaves his hair off and you are left with 1 hair strand.

I wish that I could be able to follow all threads on any given forum.

granted. Your physical body is disintegrated as you are turned into digital bits and are forever trapped in the cyberspace.

I wish I had an ice cold glass of root beer.

Granted, but it's sealed up and you can't drink it.

I wish I didn't have this silly hospital appointment today

Granted, that contagious disease of yours will just have to go unnoticed.

I wish for a fun and eventful birthday this week.

Granted, but you're sick for the week!

I wish I lived next to my favorite band.

Granted, your neighbors form a band and they're your FAVORITE!! ! *insert screaming girls here*

I wish someone would give me a new couch in perfect condition.

Granted, however the entire couch is covered with teflon and you will slide off.

I wish that my drink cup was self refilling.

Granted, but someone steals it.

I wish there was something to do here

Granted, you have to do your chores!!

I wish I could fly.

Granted, you are now a housefly.

I wish my toe-nails didn't grow.

Granted, however your fingernails grow 10x faster now.

I wish that everyone on WP would have a convention to meet the fellow posters.

Granted, but it's at your house! Better know a good caterer. (Which would be nice for me... I have relatives in Buffalo.)

I wish I had movie star good looks.

Granted, but all the people like your looks, so they come to your house and stalk you.

I wish that the WP convention would not be held at my house.