Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but only because you accept pot from a drug dealer, and that ruins your life.

I wish I could grant my own wishes.

Granted, and nothing bad happens!

I wish this sentince was false.

Granted. But then I am a pathological liar.

I wish I were normal.

Now you're Norman Normal.

I wish my fish was granted.

Your fish is granted emancipation. Fly little fish, be free!

I wish I were not burping so much.

Granted, no you keep farting instead.

I wish someone would put a zillion dollars into my bank account.

Done, but then the bank doesn't actually know what the hell a zillion is and deletes your account

I wish all the badgers are destroyed

Granted, the fight commences:



I wish for a nice juicy water melon.

granted, but you almost choked on the seeds.

I wish I was subdued by the Borg and hence had no responsibility whatsoever.

Granted, however, due to a lack of available Borg implants you are recycled and converted into soup for the other Borg.

I wish to meet the Borg queen.

Granted, but she'll make you a part of the Borg collective!

I wish we could move forward and backward in time.

Granted, but you fall in love with your great grandfather and this causes a temporal paradox as you become your own great grand mother!

I wish I had bionic toe nails.

Granted but they will spawn cursed milk every 666 minutes from their vascular tubular system.

i wish I was as strong as Popeye.

Granted, but you aren't strong enough to open the tins of spinach.

I wish I could grow spinach in my garden successfully.

Granted, but Popeye comes along and eats all your spinach.

I wish for something good to eat for dinner.

Granted, you can have Booyakasha's tins of spinach... she's not strong enough to open them!

I wish to be beamed up by aliens and taken to another planet.