Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you now have an allergy.

I wish my cellmate wasn't so weird.

granted, you realize you're the weird one
I wish I didn't have to go to bed now.

Granted, you have to stay up all night.

I wish I had a peanut butter cookie.

granted but its stale
I wish forum games were not so addicting.

Granted, back to being unrelievedly bored.

I wish some devastating blight would wipe out the world population of mosquitos.

Granted. Now all the bats in the world starve to death which leads to a destructive rise in all the other insects of the world.

I wish I could bring Einstein back to life.

Granted, but it's Pet Sematary style, so he's Evil Einstein.


I wish the coconut bread turned out better.

Granted, it turned out so well that everyone scoffed it before you had chance to taste it.

I wish my dentist appointment was today not Monday.

Granted, but he charges you $180 an hour for the schedual change.

I wish "dihydroxyacetone phosphate" had a shorter name.

Granted, it is now called DHAP but you still can't remember that either.

I wish the tooth fairy would magically remove my bad tooth while I (try to) sleep tonight.

Granted. The tooth fairy is putting on her magical brass nuckles to get ready for tonight.

I wish e-ink screens had a faster refresh rate.

Granted, but they fade twice as fast.

I wish for a pet dinosaur named Rodney.

Granted. Unfortunately he only eats live prey, so feeding him gets to be a full-time job.

I wish my neck would stop hurting.

Granted. You now have no neck.

I wish myNintendo DS had a higher vertical scan rate.

Granted. Now everything you own has a higher vertical scan rate. Even your dishwasher.

I wish the boogie monster would just take his medicine already.

I did. It still hurts.

I wish my chiropractor will give me a last-minute appt today.