Random Comebacks and Insults from Random Media!

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OK, you know how people can find epic lines and comebacks from just about ANYWHERE?! (Sorry, my sister once forced me to watch some reality show that has similar lines...and I like it...0///0)

You can post any lines that you found RIGHT IN THIS SPOT! (Note: I got most of mine from watching subbed videos from Nico Nico Douga, so that's all I can think of right now. I'm also getting to be obsessed with Touhou things, now, so I just stole some lines from a character in a MAD or PV or something like that. I have also read Much Ado About Nothing, and since Shakespeare, in his comedies, comes up with the wittiest comebacks and insults, I may mention some lines that I might remember.)

Cirno: The one who is calling people an idiot is an idiot! (This one is a fail one, since she is technically calling someone an idiot, therefore, she is unwittingly calling herself an idiot.)
-From Cirno's Perfect Math Class, Chirumiru, and any other video that has her saying that line.

You milquetoast! (I forgot the other part of the line, and I forgot who said the line, too.)
-From Much Ado About Nothing

I'll find more later...now it's your turn!

Beatrice: If I were male, I would grab a knife and rip his eyes out.
-From Much Ado About Nothing

My uncle: (after 15 minutes of other pointless drivel) "Freeloaders, yada yada yada, damn freeloaders are getting things for free, blah blah, nobody should get anything for free!"
Me: "Didn't your wife get unemployment a while back while she was looking for a job?"
My uncle: "THAT'S DIFFERENT! SHE NEEDED THAT MONEY!"
Me: "Did the government officials need 700 billion dollars in free money?"
My uncle: OUR ECONOMY WOULD HAVE COLLAPSED!"
Me: "Doesn't the church get things for free, such as no taxes and taking care of their nuns?"
My uncle: "This conversation is over!"
Me: "Didn't me and Nick go to high school for free?"
(walks away)

I love Thanksgiving dinner. The only good part about having 7 of my 9 family members suffer from NPD is that it can lead to funny exchanges such as this one, and the best part is that I'm the only one who gets the joke.

Unemployment is not free. Its paid into an insurance fund by your employer while you're working. Its actually calculated into the cost of hiring someone as though it were part of your salary, and the rate the employer has to pay in goes up if they are found to be firing employees unfairly. So when you are unemployed and have to draw that money out, it is actually and in fact ALREADY YOUR MONEY. It isn't welfare.



Paid for by the taxes of the citizens. Money taken out of the pockets of the people, in this case given to wealthy idiots who wasted what they had by making stupid decisions, in order to keep their employees from being left destitute and homeless. In one sense, it might be considered the workers' own tax money being used to save their jobs, but when its being put in the hands of the very men who screwed everything up to begin with, its questionable how wise a solution that is. But no way is it free - its the hard work of individuals, in currency.



A tax exemption for a religious institution is not free money, either. The government isn't giving them anything, and the logic is, that churches do a great deal of good in their communities, organizing charities and funding soup kitchens for the homeless, and so on, since government can't do absolutely everything. I don't understand the reference to nuns, the church provides for them, just as they do for priests, with money donated by parishioners, its why churches take up collections every Sunday.



LOL. Only a child would say such a thing! Your schooling is not free, either. Your parents pay property taxes on their home and cars every year, sales taxes on the groceries you eat, and on and on and on, to pay for that 'free' schooling. The city and county you live in take money in taxes from everyone who lives and works in your community, to pay for that school building, the books and computers you use and the salaries of the teachers. Then the school makes concessions to the federal government (like agreeing to use the same standardized textbooks to brainwash you with), in order to get extra funding from all that tax money the federal government takes from people across the country.

Nothing is free, Mindlsave, not ever in this life. There's a cost for everything, whether you're aware you're paying it or not.

Yeah, I KNOW all that. My uncle was talking about freeloaders, and I too informed him that nothing is free, but that didn't satisfy him. He was referring to not having to directly pay for something in order to get it. He's one of those Republican extremists that talks about immigrants and welfare and freeloaders. So in the context, nothing is off with the dialogue...except for the fact that it's hilarious.

When folks try to provoke I respond with something I saw printed on a lady's sweatshirt years ago:"Pardon me, but youve obviously mistaken me for somebody who gives a damn!"

In certain situations were you want to say something vulgar but need to say it in a public forum non-vulgar kinda way you can repeat what Prince Charles once said of someone spreading nasty rumors about him;"he can impale himself upon his own sword!" (ie 'he can go...himself")