Blame the poster above you

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I blame you for blowing all the cobwebs from your armpits onto the communal table in the train carriage.

Well you did hold up the people in the carriage and demanded money and our belongings or you would start to sing again.

None of it would have happened had YOU not stolen the train fare money from the work kitty, for YOUR Vodka....again!

I blame you for driving me to drink. All those endless business meetings in the office. You never fill up the photocopy machine when it runs out of paper. You leave your cup unwashed in the sink and coffee spilled everywhere. When it's your turn to bring in biscuits you only bring in Rich Tea and I hate those. Also, everyone in the office hates you. So there! ...

You trained me but realistically they are minor compared to your string of thefts from the safe! So I blame you for any debt I have ever had in my life because i am always covering your sweety wife backside.

I blame you for always trying to be the centre of attention in the office. Casual Friday dress code doesn't mean turning up in a diving suit with flippers and a snorkel!

It's your fault because you didn't become friendly with George and Amal like I asked you to, then we could have gone to Lake Como where I would have used the snorkel and flippers properly.

I blame you for wanting me to befriend George after he stole my sandwiches from the fridge, and as for Amal she deliberately spills her tea on my desk all over my keyboard. OK, so I know I shouldn't have smacked her arse the first time she did it and the HR dept have accepted my hand slipped involuntarily due to a nervous tick.

I blame you both for making me interested in office gossip for the first time in my life!

It's your fault I had to go to the supermarket to get some ham for my Pizza that I forgot to buy the day before.

It's your fault that pizza doesn't count as part of a healthy 'Mediterranean diet'.

Really? You're telling me this now?!

I blame you for not telling me before I had pizza for dinner tonight.

I blame you for the Hawaiian pizza.

Ahem ... Hawaiian pizza is DELICIOUS!

Your fault for telling people that it isn't.

I blame you for the fact I'm going to have pizza tonight ... hot spicy pepperomi.

It's your fault I had meatlovers pizza tonight ... without pepperoni.