Objects Put to Strange Uses

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Post what you need. The next poster suggests an unexpected object to put to use for you. Then they post what they need.

Example:
Poster #1 - I lost my umbrella, and it's raining today.
Poster #2 - Here, use this diaper. You'll get good coverage.

I'd like to be a pirate for Halloween, if I can find an eye patch.

Here, take my handkerchief (sure, you may end up looking like some "gangsta" or terrorist).
I'd go fishing if I could find my rod.

I'll lend you this rod off the top of my house. I just hope a thunderstorm doesn't come, or else you'll attract lightning.

I sure could use an antacid for my tummy ache.

here is a peppermint disk, better than rolaids

i want to buy a tv, but i don't have money?

Here's a chair to perch in front of the storefront so you can watch through the window. Free TV FTW.
Pesky pidgeons defecating all over the sidewalk is starting to get on my nerves. Too bad I don't own an anti-aircraft gun (yet).

Here's some alka-seltzer tablets. Feed them to the pigeons and they'll blow themselves up.

My allergies are acting up today and I'm all out of tissues.

Here's an old T-shirt. It should last you long enough.
I need to take this fat cat for a walk, but I'm too cheap to buy a kitty harness and leash.

Here's some string, Mr. Cheapo. Tie it around the cat. If he gets tired of walking, he can play with it.

I can't find my sunglasses.

Oh, just watch a little TV news. That'll help you take a dim view of the world!

I could use a little incense to freshen up the smell of the house.

Here's a couple roasted hot dogs on a stick. That should do the trick.
I need to find a new project to work on. I have nothing to do in my limited free time.

Mmmm! Hot dogs! Thanks!

Now, about that project. Why not take this extra fish hook, since you couldn't find your own rod a few posts back, and do some needlepoint on your ski mask. It could use a little decorating. It'll be lovely when it's done. Think how distracted your enemies will be as they admire it. You'll be able to overcome them all the more easily that way.

I'd like a couple of rolls for my hot dogs, please. I'm all set with my condiments, and I'm getting hungry...

I just got done embroidering naked succubi nursing demon babies on my ski mask...
Since I cannot eat bread, I don't have rolls lying about. I have some corn cobs you can hollow out and use on said hot dogs.
I just read a hilarious article about a croatian man and a cannon round (still a better love story than Twilight). I so hard, I spat my PowerAde all over my keyboard and I'm going to need something better than my T-shirt to clean it.

Long as I don't have to chew the cob, I think it'll be okay.

I think you should let some of those demon babies nurse on the PowerAde. When your ski mask dries, it'll be a bit sticky. But that's okay. You can wear it with your T-shirt. If your hands slip from the rope while you're scaling a building, you can clonk your head against the wall or throw your chest against it, and you'll stick, just like Spider Man does with his hands and feet. It could save your life.

My hot chocolate is getting cool while I'm sitting here, typing all this. I think I'd like it warmed up.

Here's a flamethrower. Just a bit of advice, cover up the drink so it doesn't taste of napalm.

Thanks for the tip. Now I just need to know your current request, so the game can continue. Here, you can write it on this telephone post, seeing as you forgot to put it in your most recent post.

The problem was... I had no request to make.
Thanks for the pole. I have been playing caber toss with it, but that got old after a few hours.
Now for the sake of continuity, I will post something relating to last night. My foot is bleeding and somewhat mangled. The neighbor's dog thinks it's treat time when I walk outside. I have nothing to cover my tasty-smelling feet, and I need to get the mail.