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auntblabby
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23 Apr 2020, 2:13 am

if you are not american, emigrate [or try to emigrate] to america without ace-level skills and entrepreneurial talent. you won't get far at all.



maycontainthunder
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23 Apr 2020, 3:11 am

It is a really good idea to walk into a bank and say "I have a bun."



maycontainthunder
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23 Apr 2020, 2:19 pm

Mooning at the sun at the peak of summer in the Arizona desert is a great way to appear on Google Earth.



Jakki
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23 Apr 2020, 8:43 pm

go out in the wild with a open jar of honey... in bear country .


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auntblabby
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24 Apr 2020, 1:34 am

just try to outrun a rabid timberwolf. just try to outrun a swarm of angry killer bees which have been known to chase their victims for MILES.



blooiejagwa
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24 Apr 2020, 5:45 am

auntblabby wrote:
if you are not american, emigrate [or try to emigrate] to america without ace-level skills and entrepreneurial talent. you won't get far at all.


Uhhhh :roll:
Same applies to much of the world. Def dont do it in the Middle East because it's not like they'll give you over the top benefits pay for your kids education and (if you are a teacher) a house in a luxurious compound with a swimming pool and no taxes to pay. Nope that definitely wont happen


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Mountain Goat
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24 Apr 2020, 6:03 am

auntblabby wrote:
just try to outrun a rabid timberwolf. just try to outrun a swarm of angry killer bees which have been known to chase their victims for MILES.

Is amazing to find how far people can run in those situations. Also how fast they can run too!


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auntblabby
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24 Apr 2020, 6:07 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
just try to outrun a rabid timberwolf. just try to outrun a swarm of angry killer bees which have been known to chase their victims for MILES.

Is amazing to find how far people can run in those situations. Also how fast they can run too!

but, per gary larson, such unfortunates are liable to run into the problem of "luposlipophobia."



maycontainthunder
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24 Apr 2020, 6:53 am

Farting loudly and asking who did that in a board meeting is a great way to advance your career.



Mountain Goat
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24 Apr 2020, 7:11 am

auntblabby wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
just try to outrun a rabid timberwolf. just try to outrun a swarm of angry killer bees which have been known to chase their victims for MILES.

Is amazing to find how far people can run in those situations. Also how fast they can run too!

but, per gary larson, such unfortunates are liable to run into the problem of "luposlipophobia."

Bees and woolves are different and I am not wearing any socks.
I can deal with wolves. I say "Sit!" and they have to sit because they are related to dogs.
Bees don't like to sit as their little bottoms are not made for it.


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auntblabby
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24 Apr 2020, 7:14 am

maycontainthunder wrote:
Farting loudly and asking who did that in a board meeting is a great way to advance your career.

even more so if you stomp on the floor and shout "WHERE'S THAT DUCK?!"



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24 Apr 2020, 7:50 am

Use superglue as an oil.


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Jakki
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24 Apr 2020, 12:10 pm

when crossing a older stream bed while water is flowing , do not step on any slimey Rocks, when on your tippy toes.


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blooiejagwa
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24 Apr 2020, 1:14 pm

let a wolf give you a french kiss. i just saw a horrible video on twitter of a lady actually doing this...


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IsabellaLinton
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24 Apr 2020, 1:16 pm

Read about the Nova Scotia tragedy on a full stomach. Or at all, if you have a heart.


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24 Apr 2020, 3:32 pm

Watch horror movies whilst stoned when you’re already scared of the dark.