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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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ThetaIn3D
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09 Jul 2014, 6:33 pm

Electrical grounding is for sissies.



SyAn
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09 Jul 2014, 6:51 pm

Reading instructions is for people without imagination


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. . . and if you are very quiet you can hear the music too . . .


Sylkat
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09 Jul 2014, 8:45 pm

American cops just love it when you drag race with them.


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jrjones9933
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09 Jul 2014, 10:15 pm

A pair of glasses makes the perfect disguise.



OnPorpoise
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09 Jul 2014, 11:58 pm

You can always rely on the kindness of strangers.


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SyAn
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10 Jul 2014, 6:02 am

Frozen fish defrosts faster when placed in the sun.


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. . . and if you are very quiet you can hear the music too . . .


jrjones9933
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10 Jul 2014, 6:46 am

Amuse horses by walking up behind them and making a sudden loud noise.



mezzanotte
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10 Jul 2014, 9:18 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
Amuse horses by walking up behind them and making a sudden loud noise.


Excellent advice!

I also recommend tickling their rumps with a feather duster.



Campin_Cat
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10 Jul 2014, 9:34 am

Always soak your most beloved books in water, before shelving them----that way, if your house catches on fire, your books won't burn.



Sylkat
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10 Jul 2014, 11:53 am

CDs and DVDs make great Frisbees.


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jrjones9933
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10 Jul 2014, 12:54 pm

Garfunkel and Oates albums make great gifts for your elderly relatives.



ThetaIn3D
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10 Jul 2014, 2:11 pm

Cars: Good investments.
Cars which have lower gas mileage: Better investments.
Cars on which you spent an additional $5,000 to produce as much black smoke as possible: Best investments of all.



VegetableMan
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10 Jul 2014, 3:05 pm

Always keep a box of doughnuts in your car to bribe police officers with in the event that you get pulled over for a moving violation.


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smudge
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10 Jul 2014, 3:06 pm

Or start oinking at them. They find it refreshing when people talk in their language.


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10 Jul 2014, 3:53 pm

Shares in exciting new companies, which are offered to you by friendly salespeople ringing from Panama, are an opportunity you should snap up without hesitation.



jrjones9933
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10 Jul 2014, 4:43 pm

You can win that internet argument! Just forget about sleep, and keep at it.