You seem to be severely depressed. You should seek immediate attention from your physician. Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.
_________________ The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
You may be depressed. While you can be moody, your moods generally fall within the range of normal. It's up to you to decide if you're depressed... or if you're simply having a bad week.