10 Jan 2008, 12:12 pm
This is from a motorscooter forum I'm on (burgmanusa.com), which has a generous supply of funny jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL:
"The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems."
OPRAH:
"Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens."
GEORGE W. BUSH:
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here."
COLIN POWELL:
"Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..."
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
"We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road."
JOHN KERRY:
"Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."
NANCY GRACE:
"That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."
PAT BUCHANAN:
"To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."
MARTHA STEWART:
"No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."
DR SEUSS:
"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told."
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
"To die in the rain. Alone."
GRANDPA:
"In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."
BARBARA WALTERS:
"Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road."
JOHN LENNON:
"Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace."
ARISTOTLE:
"It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."
BILL GATES:
"I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra..." #@&&^(C% ........ reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
"Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
BILL CLINTON:
"I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?"
AL GORE:
"I invented the chicken!"
COLONEL SANDERS:
"Did I miss one?"
AL SHARPTON:
"Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens."
Last edited by Ragtime on 10 Jan 2008, 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
10 Jan 2008, 12:47 pm
dalhousie12
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10 Jan 2008, 1:23 pm
duncansbass
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10 Jan 2008, 1:24 pm
10 Jan 2008, 1:28 pm
yup! thanks, good one.
10 Jan 2008, 1:36 pm
Thanks for the laugh!
10 Jan 2008, 2:09 pm
Bill Cinton one thats the best 
barber
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10 Jan 2008, 2:12 pm
nice post halerious 
10 Jan 2008, 6:30 pm
Excellent.
Hamlet:
To be. Or not to be.
Sorry... what was the question?
richie
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10 Jan 2008, 6:55 pm
But we still haven't answered the question of
which came first? The chicken or the 
SilverProteus
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10 Jan 2008, 7:23 pm
LOL
I liked Hemingway's response
tinky
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10 Jan 2008, 8:14 pm
I liked Hemingway's response
agreed, it's sounds like something edgar allan poe would more likely say.
11 Jan 2008, 2:52 am
Here's a Texas joke!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the armadillo it could be done!
But if you don't live in Texas, feel free to insert any animal in your area that is constantly getting run over. 
iamnotaparakeet
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11 Jan 2008, 11:43 am
Brittany2907
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11 Jan 2008, 11:47 am
"In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."
Now THAT is what I call funny.
ROFL!! !
12 Jan 2008, 7:20 am
