How many of us here are self sufficient?

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i asked the question in all seriousness [and sans any sarcasm] because i was curious- i'd only seen lab rats and trained rats and i didn't know if they had any endearing personality traits like what you might find in a dog or cat. i didn't know if they liked being pet and handled by humans or if they merely tolerated such from their human handlers.

I've always been self-sufficient and self-supporting. I left home at 17 (can't cope with living with people!), and apart from a few months on benefits I've been in continuous employment for the last 33 years. I earn enough to live modestly in a small house on my own. I struggle with work in lots of ways but also hugely enjoy it; I have a supportive employer and colleagues, which is immensely helpful, especially as I have a physical disability as well as AS. I've read appalling stories about people with AS being bullied at work, but luckily I've never experienced anything like that. If I had to deal with those issues, I don't think I would be able to work and support myself – it would just take the daily struggle too far. Luckily I work in a field that genuinely accepts/welcomes diversity.

I voted yes but I don't really know. My mother passed away last year, and my father was bed-ridden for about six months before dying May 2. So I'm on my own for the first time ever.

it's a desolate feeling, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

my situation was similar, in that my dad was bedridden for years, spending the last 3 months at a hospice, and my mother died less than 2 years after my father passed. but it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that i am all alone now. my comfort is that my sister and i received heavenly hellos from them in our dreams.

I've been self-sufficient since before age 18, but things have been going downhill. I just can't take it anymore. I had a breakdown a few years ago and it hasn't gotten much better since then. I'm about 3 months behind on rent, but am really lucky and am not getting kicked out. I'm almost 24 now. Depression and anxiety and substance abuse is really taxing. Without it though I doubt I would have taken people's Asperger's suggestions seriously. Now that I'm taking it more seriously over the past month, I'm understanding more about why I've been so troubled. Knowledge is power, right?...

I am 39 and married - I said yes - I hold down a good job in a large company - I have recruited staff who make up for my inabilities and am luck that the people around me are very discreet and supportive - without them I would really struggle.

My wife does virtually all of the house and kids admin - a source of marital issues - but I could handle the minimum to survive.

Maybe I am kidding myself that I am self-sufficient, although I have engineered the situation and self sufficient doesn't mean alone.

I said no. I'm married and work part time at various things, most of which end in disaster. I don't earn enough to completely support myself if I was alone and I have my doubts that I ever could, although I keep trying. I know I'm capable of doing work of enough value to support me, but my inability to impress NTs with my personality stops me from ever having the chance.

I am very self-sufficient and have been since my early 20's. I own my own house and take care of it with little help from anyone. What help I do receive is usually a form of mutual assistance with others who I help in their time of need. Now this is not to say that I have everything neat, organized and clean all of the time. I don't, but I am working towards that goal by the end of this summer (well see how that goes...)

However, I am trying to go back to college over the fall and am considering selling the house and moving back home during that time. I think it may be for the best. It would lessen the number of things I have to deal with and let me concentrate my limited attention span on my education rather than work and home maintenance.

I have been self sufficient, and living alone for almost a year now because of my current job. Before I was not able to keep a job due to customer service and other things. I feel that what seems so easy and automatic to others is not to me. I am proud things I am doing now, but it seems so basic to others. It first felt strange when people that were younger than me were getting their driver's license before me. I have one now. Living alone I don't think I am getting everything done that I should on a regular basis, but it works. I don't cook. I work around people all day long, so it is nice to come home and have a break with no people. Outside of work I am pretty isolated, on my days off I stay at home all day. I hear people in my apartment hallway say, "I don't even know who that guy is in #4 he just walks right past me and won't say anything" hehe

I would say I am. I'm thirty-five, was married for about three years, and then was in a second LTR that lasted for ten years. That one ended about two and a half years ago, and he moved out six months later to be with someone else. I have a BA and an MLIS, work full time, and am a single mother. So I get a couple of hundred dollars a month in child support, and when I moved back to my hometown after finishing my Master's, my parents helped out with refurnishing my apt (since I had to sell off a lot of possessions to move from CA back to TX). Other than that aid, I pay my own bills, do my own car care, shopping, etc. My daughter also has Asperger's, and it's likely my father is somewhere on the spectrum, but I didn't live in a household with him after the age of one. I "pass" in the contexts of classrooms and work fairly well, and I learned a lot from working retail/taking courses on reference service, but on my own steam I have trouble making friends and dating. My friends are those that I knew before I ever left, and their SOs. I have almost nothing in common with them, but they accept me for who I am, so aside from the dating thing I do reasonably well.

Last edited by rosemund on 19 Jun 2012, 11:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think my "self-sufficiency" is slowly killing me. I am plagued with and belabored on all sides by anxiety as I try to keep up.

I pay most of my own expenses and live on my own, but voted no. I still have my parents making phone calls for me and sometimes ask them to shop for me. Since temporary disability money (for university studies) isn't always enough, they sometimes support me economically, though less than before (thank goodness for that, I'm closing to 30 and feel bad every time I have to ask them for money). And I guess receiving my entire income from social security until I have my degree isn't really self-sufficient either, though at least that's not my parents' money. I'm also in a support program for students with social security funding, which I guess could be seen as not being self-sufficient.

I'm 100%+ self sufficient in terms of financial support. In fact, I've created 5 different businesses that effectively support 100s of other people too. I guess I'd have to say I'm 100% self sufficient in every other aspect of life, except emotionally. There is just something missing there and there always has been. My (male) business partners are emotionally supportive. My 11 year old Aspergian son is getting to the age where he can be supportive emotionally sometimes. Likewise, my 8 year old Aspergian daughter is becoming more and more supportive. But I have always dreamed of meeting a woman that would be even just a little bit supportive. I think I can continue to do 90% of it myself if I have to. But there are nights and mornings where I really struggle... I just wish there were someone else there to give me a little support to make things easier.

For some unknown reason that last part has eluded me... and as my 50th birthday approaches next month, I'm beginning to think it will never ever happen.

P.S. If anyone wants help with the financial support aspect of life, please LMK. Somehow I managed to nail that one.
P.S.S. If anyone has advice on how to find emotional support (in a given and take manner) from/with an adult female, I'm all ears.

ive been self sufficient since i was 19 years old, im 35 now.
im a technical illustrator and moved to hamburg from the UK when i was 19, and have since then lived in düsseldorf, amsterdam, barcelona, ingolstadt and frankfurt.
it has been tough at times but ive got my "life routine" pretty much cracked.