40+ Something L & D - Where to Locate/Find (2/10)

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...nice.

One of my friends had a lot of luck with eHarmony because it allows matching very specific interests. He's...significantly odder than anyone in this thread.

--Argyle

I met my wife through http://www.rsvp.com.au/, but I'm sure I could just as easily have met a suitable partner on just about any dating website.
It's not just about where to find, it's also knowing what you're looking for, knowing yourself, and being realistic.
I strongly recommend you be as descriptive and honest when putting together a profile, and that you seek out others who you feel confident do likewise.
In my case there were a lot of emails, phone calls, and the like before we met, and we've now been together as a couple for over 9 years, and married for 6.
I also had several failed dates with others, and a few no shows, you just have to sort through and find who works for you, rather than assume because they're willing to meet that it will work out.
If there is no spark, you can't make it work, you both have to feel something, and more than just attraction, you need to have rapport; all the romance and sex can come with time, but it won't be satisfactory if there isn't a connection on a deeper than physical level.

You also have to think outside the box (not a stretch for us aspies), and consider people who like yourself, may be a little different.
Those that are different in just about any way can relate to us aspies a lot better than people who like to think of themselves as normal or typical (conservative neurotypicals).

In my case I paired up with a woman with CP that gets around in a wheelchair; we were living together within a month of our first meeting, for practical, financial and other reasons.

As with all things in life, the more honest and understanding you can be, the more honest and understanding a partner you will find, and the better your relationship can be.

Having said all that though, I learned my lesson in the past, I have a failed marriage behind me and an ex wife who does not exactly encourage my 13yr old daughter to have a meaningful relationship with me.
On the other hand, I expect most 13yr old girls don't spend much time with or talk much to their dads.

Unfortunately the only way to learn about relationships is to have them, and that includes making mistakes, dating (or in my case marrying and having a child with) those you aren't so compatible with, and learning to accept parts of yourself you don't like work on what you can do better, and communicate as effectively as you can with your partner.
In my case I still email and text my wife daily when she is at work, as well as phone calls.
I think the written word tends to be a better form of expression than verbal for me, and I suspect many aspies.
Just because you can't express your feelings verbally doesn't mean you shouldn't find other ways to, otherwise partners or potential partners won't understand what's going on between your ears and will think you're not interested, when really your just anxious, or going through difficulties with verbalising.
That's my 2 cents worth anyway.