Self diagnosis & options

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Hello. I am new here and I believe I most likely have AS, my name is Daniel. I am 43 years old.
I had never heard of AS until just a week or two ago. So now I find myself at a fork in the road and I am wondering which path to take, to seek a professional assessment or to remain officially undiagnosed and find a support group to attend, if in fact they do exist.
I have trepidations about having a label attached to me, to my medical records, etc. and at this point I feel more comfortable remaining the wraith I have always been, flying under the radar on my own terms.
Any thoughts?

Depends how long you can continue to fly under the radar. Situations change and as you get older, you may find the obstacles AS puts in your path to be harder and harder to ignore. We can slough off a lot of things at 20 that by by middle age can't be ignored. It also may depend on how easily you adapt from one thing to another. Not everyone makes it through their entire life in the same job or career and while AS can be an advantage in some situations, by giving us hyperfocus and the ability to develop expertise in a field of interest, that single mindedness can also leave you high and dry if you suddenly find yourself forced to change horses in midstream.

I think for most people, a diagnosis can be very helpful psychologically and emotionally. Most employers are not likely to know unless you choose to disclose. However, the limitations of AS are often interpreted by others as stubbornness or rebellion and if you find yourself discriminated against for something that is AS related, you have no legal recourse without that diagnosis. Sometimes a disability can be job security, because employers are afraid to fire the handicapped, risk being sued and looking like ogres to the community.

Some people will tell you not to get diagnosed because others will use it as a reason to bully you, but in my experience, very few people around me know and it doesn't stop some of them from treating me like crap just because they can.

I think it depends very much on who you are. I actually have found the obstacles eased as I got older - hacked my way to safer places where I had to fight the world less.

Othersw may have ideas on pros and cons of formal diagnosis at your age and stage - me, I am retired and withdrawn from most social interaction, and I have no use for it.

Dan-0 is long gone havent seen him post ever again.

Not long gone, just yet anyway. Have been busy seeking gainful employment and little time for other stuff right now.

Hey Dan-O

I think I understand where your coming from. I was struggling with should I get a Diagnosis or not. I like the comments that Avengilante wrote.

Yeah I think the label of being disabled is a little harsh but that doesn’t mean I have to tell every one, Just the people who need to understand me. Like Work. If I start running a round outback because I’m excited they need to know why so they don’t fire you out of fear you might come in tomorrow with a gun or something.

I think a diagnosis would have saved me in some of my pervious employment’s but now just like every one else I am in the unemployment line, wishing I had that diagnosis so I could get a little more help. Job interviews for Me, a 31 year old, uneducated, socially illiterate, Man, trying to get that $7.50 an hour box boy job sucks!

What ever you decide, I wish you the best .

I want to thank everyone for the replies, it certainly helps. Yes, the hissing asp has reared its ugly head and struck me again, scratch another job. Definitely the same old pattern, trouble makers got the best of me but the boss of course didn't see it that way, he really doesn't have a clue what went down but I was at a complete loss to explain it all to him. Three years into that one but it was a sh:t job like all the rest.
Just as you describe it nuckingfuts, night in the ruts.

I don't agree that a dx will help any adult per say but it could hurt them when applying for insurance. You don't need a formal Dx to inform your boss of your issues. You'll still be protected if you verbally tell them.

I am flying under the formal radar and had my Doctor change my dx to accute stress disorder recently.

Have you looked into how much a dx will cost? A thorough evaluation at University of Michigan is around $3 grand. Some others in my area who specialize in autism run around $1-2k. Few insurances will pay for this.

If you go to a psychologist/psychiatrist who charges by the session, it's simply a process of convincing them to agree with the diagnosis you've already made yourself. Once you are officially diagnosed you have to worry about whether or not you should reveal that when you fill out employment applications.

I'm not suggesting you shouldn't seek therapy, but an aspie dx is not worth it in my opinion. You need to exercise great caution about telling people you are an aspie, and you don't need the aspie dx to work with a therapist or a therapy group. Note kfisherx's method of flying under the radar.

Just my opinions, whatever you choose to do, best of luck, I hope things will take a turn for the better for you.

Hello again. Sorry I have been away for such a lapse of time. I have not forgotten this site, quite frankly it scares me. I do not know where to place posts or seek to engage in any sort of discourse here.
As I look about the whole site I find it intimidating, a busy hive of activity with no seeming bounds or distinct subdivisions, no place to dip my toe in the waters, so to speak and the overall brisk pace is confusing.
My approach to grasping AS, as I come to understand more and more this has been the monkey on my back for my whole life since I have first heard of it only recently and had that "aha" moment is that to contemplate it or confront it in any way blanches me white, like electrocution, as if I am powerless to even bare it all in mind and diversions take over so the days go by and by and by. It does not go away though, it eats at me.
I found this site. I explored it a bit. I found it to be like a raging house fire inferno that I desperately needed to enter for some immediate rescue but the withering heat keeps me at bay.
I turn my attention to this and am rasped of oxygen, I cannot approach it.
This has left me dead in the water.
Part of me says I am the prince of procrastination and chides me like a devil on my shoulder yet what wins out is giving in to fear which is of course irrational but it grips me.
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that this is an internet site. I am alone at home and have no face to face with like people I could relate to face to face.
I do not want any charted medical tags applied to me. I do not want any official diagnosis. I do not seek any social welfare handouts or other government support, or restrictions on my life.
I just want to find people I can relate to and perhaps offer something in return on a level plane.
Sorry for my rant but I am finding that things are not getting better with age for me (43) as I have read about others with AS.

Dan-O, I am at about the same point you are as a 37 yo female aspie. I recently had my "a-ha" moment also and am still undecided as to whether or not I will pursue a formal dx. I dove into this forum about a week ago along with another site. It has been comforting to read postings by others that mirror my thought processes, actions and feelings. There is alot of information on the site which can be overwhelming, but I do feel somewhat less lonely knowing now that I'm not the only person who feels like I'm on the wrong planet.

Thanks, AG. It's nice to know I'm not alone either.

No, you're not alone by any means. In fact, everything you've posted so far could have easy be posted by me, as it echos my sentiments and situation exactly. I'm 46 and am just learning about something I just took for granted my entire life. Like you, I've tentatively decided that I won't be seeking a professional diagnosis, since it's not something I want in my medical records. I've found that there's still too much of a stigma attached to conditions like this by people who haven't taken the time to understand what it is....and that would encompass probably 99.999 percent of the people I'd have interactions with.

Another member here posted something that I bookmarked as pretty much explaining things best IMO:

While my AS does make me a tad different from others, at least in my case it's not enough to create major problems, except possibly in the area of social interaction...but over the years I've written a large number of scripts that I follow which allows me to simply pass myself off as an introvert for the most part, and thus I too can get by 'under the radar'. Like you, I don't have any friends outside my home, but then again I'm married and have children, so that gives me all the social interaction I want/need. I do come here fairly regularly now though since I was (self)-diagnosed, because I'm still examining myself with new eyes, and am learning about myself through the experiences of the others here.

My advice would be to just take your time, start doing a lot of reading here, and then do what you feel you must do.

Thank you Kedman, good points.

Indeed, you and I seem to be on similar/ parallel paths.
Sometimes I feel as if I can ignore it but I know better. AS has[i] impacted every job and relationship I have ever had. I don't feel I am all that far into the spectrum, if that's how it's described but therein lies the peril of self diagnosis. It has seriously messed up my life and continues to do so.

Ultimately I would just like to find a support group to attend if that is at all possible without a diagnosis.

-Best regards.

That you have an effective (for the moment) set of strategies for coping is good, but don't let that lull you into too much confidence about the future. You may be exceptionally well equipped to cope with disability that's otherwise beyond comprehension. Genes have to be good for something.

I survived OK until I hit fifty, and then it was as though some sort of tolerance that had been extended to me (he's young, he'll settle down) was abruptly withdrawn and I was washed up, high and dry, on a desert island shore. The aspergers diagnosis was a relief after a year or two of that, but it still hasn't helped much.

Hi Dan-O.

Sorry I can't recommend a support group in your area, as I live on the other side of the world.

However, I am having to deal with a later-in-life discovery of ASD, as I am 30 years old.
Support for adults can be hard to find.

ASD was suggested to me by a psychologist, but I have not had an official dx.
Currently I do not want an official dx, given the stigma and required-disclosure of medical records for some jobs.

When I first learned about ASD, I believed myself to be at the "mild" end of the spectrum.
However, as I read more about ASD, comparing myself to others on the spectrum, taking tests etc, I found that I was much "more" autistic than I thought possible.
This was a suprise, as I consider myself fairly intelligent and functional. I wanted to deny the truth of this discovery... but I had to accept that my level of autism did explain an awful lot about my life; I had to try to make it work for me, and reduce the dysfunctional aspects.

Overall this discovery has been useful in that it gives me a way to understand myself. On the other hand, it is hard to realise that I have a built-in "disorder" that I will have forever.

If you find online forums too chaotic (I find this also), try reading books like Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. I found this a good overview and could identify the aspects of ASD which I related to, and those which I did not seem to have.