Aspie husband had crush on 11 yr old girl

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Help! My husband of 12 years, we have two kids recently admitted that he was "sweet" on my daughter's friend. This girl is surprisingly developed for her age, but still, she is 11! Now 12. I noticed him acting very goofy around her, buying her a b-day gift, etc. He works in a school in the IT Dept. Another concern. Nothing physical has happened, and he hasn't said anything sexual to her, to my knowledge, but I am appalled that he has allowed this infatuation. He just says, "you're just feeling old and unattractive, etc" "We'll do more stuff together."

If you have concerns about it, why not voice them to your husband. I say things that can be interpreted out of context, and he may have just stated a fact, flipped a switch in your head and you are paying closer attention to his behaviors.

Be direct, if he's a pedophile it doesn't relate to his aspergers.

Thats very inappropriate and you should bring that up to a professional right away.

I must be missing something. Your profile says that you are male and here you say that you have a husband and you have two kids. I guess if the kids are adopted, that would explain it.

Anyway, he's likely to make the administrators at the school real nervous and the first thing they would probably do is kick him out the door and don't even imagine getting a good recommendation. He needs to be out of that environment, anyway. Perhaps you should convince him to start looking for another job in another environment while he can.

How about having a serious talk with him before you get him fired and thrown in prison... mm'kay?

When I say serious talk, I mean don't let him out of the chair until he's truly addressed the situation because the consequences of not doing so are dire!

It may just be he just wished he had a little girl, rather than wanting to have sex with one... but find out.

I agree with BlueMax completely! Your putting sweet in quotation marks worries me, because I find that lots of times that means the two people in question have VERY different meanings intended. Iwhen I was young, I had what I would consider to be real friends who were adults - in retrospect, I assume I reminded them of themselves, or someone they used to know. I make the (perhaps incorrect) assumption that there was nothing sexual about any of those relationships. Nothing sexual ever happened, to be sure.

Basically, find out if your interpretations are what he means - because you stand a chance of completely ruining him based on what might be him just enjoying your daughter having a friend that he feels like he sees more of himself in. At the same time, it has to be addressed somehow. Just make sure you let him explain it, instead of giving him options you've thought up.

Is this a legitimate post?

Considering that NHite claims to be a 41 year old male with a husband and two children one of whom is a girl apparently born relatively near the time that the two were married, there is a good chance that it is nothing more than a troll.

But in case it isn't a troll, then he/she needs to get his/her husband out of there to try to avoid something inappropriate from happening.

Oh come on you guys, there is such a thing as gay marriage now a days. It could have been gay marriage.

If they are in the US, I'd be amazed to find a gay couple married to each other for 12 years and even more amazed that they were able to adopt two kids 12 years ago.

They could have been together for 12 years as far as marriage goes.

However, now that I look at this more closely I see your point.

That's creepy. Better do something quick before it progresses and he ends up in jail getting ass raped or a bullet through him from the girl's father.

We have not been told anything more on the intent, for you to extrapolate that he would do something is ridiculous.

I agree with OliveOilMom! If you indeed have suffiecent reason to suspect your husband of such dangerous activities you should consult someone who specializes in this department.

Although I have to say observe all the facts first and make sure you dont let your worries get the better of you before you make a decision

Does your husband have a special interest? I know some aspies make people their special interest. I've heard of husbands devoting themselves to the study of an other woman than they are married to. Perhaps it is possible that a child could be too. If so, it would no doubt appear very creepy to you and everyone who might notice, but if it was a special interest thing, it could be more innocent than it looks. Just a thought. No matter what, it is important that he lets it go. If someone brands him a pedophile, there will be trouble for both of you.

if it was my daughter that he was sweet on best not tell me as i would not want to go to jail for what i would do ! !