Hi.
I agree that basic physical "fitting in" (i.e. hygiene and presentation) is important, particularly in work situations. Other people tend to take you more seriously if you "look the part" (i.e. dress appropriately).
Many people easily learn this sort of fitting in, but it can be adopted deliberately.
I also agree that exercise and grooming routines are useful. Routines make these things happen automatically, and good physical condition contributes to good mental condition.
What I have learned recently is:
1. That I need to focus on finding a niche that suits me... in a particular industry, in a particular workplace. This is my task, not the responsibility of anyone else.
2. Rather than pursue a "special interest" (music), I have chosen an economically viable route (trades training); what my mind automatically understands (mechanical engineering); and a workplace that I can cope with (small staff, loaded with HFA individuals). Basically, work is an activity with context as well as content... no matter how good I am at content, the context must be suitable for me to succeed.
3. It is not feasible for me to expect other people to make accommodations, without first proving my abilities. This is particularly the case in my culture (NZ), in which ASD is not widely recognised in adults. This means I have to force myself into uncomfortable situations (e.g. new social arrangements) but this is temporary, and the only way for me to progress. This may relate to the post re: the lion, and needing to be brave and overcome fear.
4. Solicit advice from people I respect. This is important feedback about social and workplace performance. Since I do not perceive subtle social cues, which would otherwise give me this information, I must ask targeted questions to find this out. This is particularly the case when seeking a career position, while in training, as the tutors can help to identify a suitable niche.
07 Jun 2011, 2:39 pm
